Buying A Pair of Jeans

It could take a whole day, maybe two -
the pulling up and pushing down of blue denim.
You know before it wraps around your thigh
whether to continue the heated upward effort.

Sometimes you miscalculate
as they smoothly rise over your hips
to discover the button will not be forced
into its matching hole from two inches away.

Boot cut, flare, straight leg, wide leg,
curvy, slim, skinny, low-waist, ultra low,
faded, dark wash, ripped, bedazzled,
stretch, regular, ankle, long, petite, short,
5-pocket, 4-pocket, button-down, zip.

Then a pair slides on without tears.
You button, you zip, you turn to view the rear.
You squat, you stand on tiptoe - and you sigh.
You pay a lot of money, bring them home

and try them on to make sure it wasn't a dream.
At long last you sit into the ease of your new jeans
and smile. You pray they won't shrink.
You hope you don't gain any more weight.

You touch the soft blue fabric and rejoice
in the comfort you so valiantly sought.
It's a victorious day - and then your husband says,
so what did you do all day?