It's strange that when I have more time I seem to blog less. Yet, the uniqueness of summer is that my brain takes a little vacation. It's not that I think less - it's that I'm thinking about much different things. The freedom to choose my activities, my schedule and what to focus on makes summer versus school year like living two separate lives - each one takes some adjustment time. (Retirement probably won't be as much as a shock as it is for some people.)
Anyway! This summer is filled with the anticipation of my son's wedding in August. He is marrying a young woman who has been so good for him and has been a part of our lives for ten years. So as much as it is a natural progression, I never could have imagined how consuming the anticipation would be - in a good way, a very good way. Each step towards the wedding has been emotional and joyous. I started crying on the day last October when my daughter-in-law-to-be included me in finding and buying her wedding dress - and I haven't stopped. It makes me ponder why weddings are so emotional.
For years I sang at many weddings. It was intimidating being such a central part of the wedding ceremony, and whether I knew the bride and groom or not, I would find myself getting teary - usually as the bride walked down the aisle, something I always had a good view of from the chancel area of the church.
I think that weddings represent hope. Hope in the future, hope for happiness, hope that new people will be born into the family and hope that love really lasts forever. Even for those of us who have experienced the heartbreaking reality of divorce, we still hope that others will escape it - especially our children.
So I may be distracted for a while! I have complete confidence that my son has chosen the right person and I look forward to the ceremony and reception - I just hope I can keep my emotions under control... I'll let you know. :)
COEXIST: Poetry, Books, and Essays by Diane Vogel Ferri
5 comments:
Summertime and the livin' is . . . different. Even when you are retired. I find my body is more in harmony with the seasons when I don't follow a planner-dominated life.
The upcoming wedding sounds wonderful. And you are such a part of it — sharing with the "next generation" in the changes through which they are going.
Last summer at this time, I was planning the bridal shower and getting ready for our son's wedding.
I always cry at weddings as well, and wondered how I would be at my son's wedding. He is our first child.
I would play our first dance song in the car and cry all the way to work just about every day. So many things made me cry leading up to that day.
Funny thing was... I never cried at all that day. Not a tear... it was the happiest and one of the best days of my life. I so wish I could relive that entire weekend!
I usually cry when I am happy, too. So it was strange to me, not to be shedding tears. I guess you just never know!
The best advice I got before he got married was to stay in the moment and savor every minute. I was able to do just that, so I had no regrets at the end.
Enjoy all the planning and getting ready time. I miss it so much!!
Let us know what song u pick for your dance with him.
Congratulations to all of you! I hope it all goes well and just keep a hanky close!
What an exciting time for you. I'm sure we'll all understand if you blog less this summer! I loved reading how happy you are with your son's choice.
P.S. I sent you an email in reply to your last comment on my blog . . . just sayin' in case it turns up in spam.
I am excited for your son and your family. especially that you are so confident in his choice.
Blessings to you!
p.s. I love your poetry, and look forward to more!
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