Haikus by Diane

Slashes of scarlet
birds in a mass of gray twigs
at rest in the cold


Amidst the purple
clouds like spilled ink in the sky
then peach-pink of dawn


Deer huddle in snow
silhouetted in stark white
just head and ears now.


This shell, this vessel
can succeed or disappoint
fighting fat daily


Many years gone by
I believe much more in that
which I cannot see


In my creation
a solitary journey
to heights unknown


Brought to each new day
fellowship in mere living
survival of love

Should We Provide For the Poor?

THINK

Before you speak THINK

T - Is it true?
H - Is it helpful?
I - Is it inspiring?
N - Is it necessary?
K - Is it kind?

Final Flight

When wings expand at last, each of us
will have one singular moment:
airborn, lifting free, voiceless.
We are made for final flight.

In this time between flights,
theirs and ours,
we wait out the unanswered days,
our senses permanently altered,

gliding through dreams and daydreams
tendrils of a spirit entwining us,
yoking us so close
to the line that we cannot cross.

Our hearts float in their own seas,
alone, searching for the voyager
who has crossed the uncrossable line
and left us behind.

Memories relentlessly skimming the edges
of our brains, sheathing themselves in eternity,
while ordinary life goes on
outside our earthly windows.

But someday the veil will be lifted
and we will be invited to the party
in the unknown Kingdom
in joyful reunion with our Maker.

Now we hold each other in broken arms,
we lift each other in hopeful prayers,
until we take our final glorious flight
away from the rabble of this known world.

Carry

lyrics by Tori Amos
from Night of Hunters


Love hold my hand
Help me see you with the dawn
That those who have left
Are not gone

But they carry on
As stars looking down
As nature's sons
And daughters of the heavens

You will not ever be forgotten by me
In the procession of the mighty stars
Your name is sung and tattooed now on my heart
Here I will carry, carry, carry you forever

You have touched my life so that now
Cathedrals of sound are singing
The waves have come to walk with you
To where you will live in the land of you

I will carry you forever

(Thinking of Louie 2/14/84 to 2/23/11)

Whitney Houston

The photo is from the video" How Will I Know". One of the cutest videos ever. When my daughter reminded me this week of dancing around the living to Whitney's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) I thought about why we're so sad when some singers leave us. After all, they were just singers and we didn't know them personally, right?

Singers often give us happy memories. We love their songs, we love the way they interpreted them with their singular talents, we love the memories attached to them. The songs remind us of a different time in our lives. That's why.

Yes, celebrities are just people like us, but to me, Whitney, just like Michael Jackson, came to us with God-given talents. They had no choice but to share them with the world. And they did, but they also paid the price of a greedy world. I think being so famous is life-altering. It's not normal. They must feel infallible and untouchable and maybe that's why they leave us too soon. We all know drugs take us away from reality, and the unreal lives they lived as worldwide celebrities is probably too much for human beings to handle. I believe Whitney, like Michael, came to do what they were supposed to do,and it's OK if we miss them.

If you've never seen the videos for "How Will I Know" or "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" find them on You Tube. You'll dance.

The Sad, Sad State of Education

Cleveland is one of the poorest, most racially segregated, and lowest-preforming school districts in the nation. According to data in the National Assessment of Educational Progress, Cleveland's school population is 85% black and Hispanic, and 100% of its students are eligible for free or reduced lunch.

Diane Ravitch is a Research Professor of Education at NYU. From 1997-2004 she was a member of the National Assessment Governing Board which oversees federal testing programs. In other words, she was all for charter schools, an abundance of testing and the voucher programs. But after all of those years she witnessed the failure of those programs. She noted that there was no evidence that they worked in the past 10 years. The following information is from Diane Ravitch's speech at Cleveland's City Club last week after her investigation of the Cleveland schools:

About 100,000 of the state's 1.8 million students are enrolled in charter schools. The average public school teacher in Cleveland is paid about $66,000, while the average charter school teacher in the city is paid about $33,000. A big cost savings for the city and state.

As in other states, charters in Ohio get no better academic results on average than regular public schools. There are more charters at the bottom of the state's academic rating, but not much difference at the middle or the top. The biggest charter chain in Ohio is White Hat Management, a for-profit corporation run by Akron businessman David Brennen, who has contributed millions of dollars to Republican candidates. According to information complied by NPR in Ohio, "No Ohio White Hat school earned higher than the equivalent of a "C" on the state report card. Most are in academic emergency. In the company's view the state grades are unimportant, all that matters is that parents are making a choice.

The state has pumped more than $1 billion into virtual schools over the past decade with disappointing results. Of 23 e-schools in Ohio only 3 were rated effective by the state, have been called "Vastly under-performing". Children are 10 times more likely to receive an "effective" education in traditional public schools than they are in e-schools. What a surprise! E-schools consist of one person monitoring 50 or more computers for profit. Sponsors of these schools make huge amounts of money, and where there is money there are lobbyists and campaign contributors.

The Voucher system has been in Cleveland since 1995, but students have not performed better on state tests than students in public schools. So why are we continuing this ineffective and expensive program while decimating the public schools that are available to all??

The mayor of Cleveland and the governor of Ohio have decided that the answer lies in firing teachers, closing public schools, expanding the number of vouchers, and possibly expand the voucher program! Vouchers are only for the select few. The ineffective schools are run by wealthy businessmen. Somehow the evidence, the proof, the data means nothing to our elected officials. They are NOT thinking about the children or their futures. They are thinking about how to cut costs. The political allies of these people may profit, but the children will be the losers. Disgraceful. They should be ashamed of themselves.

What Do Our Words Really Mean?

"The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government." Thomas Jefferson.

"Only in America can you be pro-death penalty, pro-war, pro-unmanned drone bombs, pro-nuclear weapons, pro-guns, pro-torture, pro-land mines AND still call yourself "pro-life".
John Fugelsang

What do our words really mean when they can be interpreted in any direction? The Jefferson quote, I imagine, could be used as pro-life (anti-abortion) in a debate today - no destruction of life. But it could also be taken as pro-gay marriage since it promotes the happiness of all citizens and does not suggest that we deny them basic rights. It could also suggest pacifism since lives are always destroyed in a war.

Is the purpose of government to take away choices from its people? Many politicians promote less government interference in our lives, but maybe for them that only applies to taxes. Does it also apply to who can be married? Who can choose to have children or prevent having them? Who gets to serve in the military?

As this election year goes on all I can hear are contradictions.

With all the "Christian" rhetoric flying around - when Jesus said "Love They Neighbor"( over and over again) did he mean only those in your chosen political party?

When He said, "Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1) Did He mean only those who live a life according to your standards?

When Jesus said He had compassion for the thousands who were with Him and had nothing to eat - did he tell them to take a bath and get a job - or did he, out of His compassion, feed them?

We keep hearing this is a Christian nation, but what does that mean if we continue to judge, deny rights and basic human needs to our citizens?

Laura Ingalls Wilder

Today is the birthday of writer Laura Ingalls Wilder, born just north of Pepin, Wisconsin in 1867, author of the wildly popular children's book Little House on the Prairie (1935)and other books about growing up in the Midwest in the 1800's. They are all part of the Little House series, which she began writing in her 60's. THAT gives me hope! Since her death about a hundred different titles have appeared in the Little House series that she created. From her books have come a wonderful television series on NBC (1974-1984) - in my opinion, one of the BEST shows ever on television. Also, a 26 episode animated Japanese cartoon series called "Laura, The Prairie Girl", a couple of made-for-TV movies, an ABC mini-series (2005) and a musical.

All of her books have remained in print continuously since the time they were first published, have been widely translated, and have sold millions of copies. Little House in the Big Woods begins, "Once upon a time, sixty years ago, a little girl lived in the Big Woods of Wisconsin, in a little gray house made of logs."

Those words must have captured me because, although I don't have too many specific memories of elementary school, I clearly remember reading the first book and anxiously anticipating library day so I could check out the next one. I read all of them in succession and loved every one.

The TV series came on when I was almost an adult,so my fondest memories are of watching the shows in syndication years later with my own children. I think my daughter saw all 10 years of the series multiple times. I loved it because each episode taught a wholesome, loving lesson about how to treat each other, knowing wrong from right and the importance of always doing the right thing. I believe the show had a positive impact on my children and for that I honor Laura Ingalls Wilder today.

A Reader's Dilemma

I am an avid reader and have always loved books. I love to see my books displayed around my home. Lots of bookshelves. One time a neighbor was at our house and was browsing my bookshelves (where I have them in order - my favorites on the top shelf then moving downward). She noticed that we liked many of the same books and thus was born the neighborhood book club. We've been going strong for 8 years.

But what if all of our books are on a portable device someday?

I got a Kindle Fire for Christmas. Originally I did not want one. I try to stay open to change and technology so I wasn't someone to say that an electronic device to read from is evil. But it wasn't for me. Book lovers love to hold books, love to own books, love to look at their books, lend them to friends and maybe reread their favorites someday. With an electronic device all of those joys are vanished. Our book club may have never come to be if my books had not been regally lined up on their shelves.

For 15 years my husband and I spent many evenings at our local Borders, browsing, reading in a corner, drinking tea and coffee. Browsing leads to finding. You don't have to know what you want - you spy it, you pick it up, you like the cover, the summary sounds interesting and you buy it. (Or maybe write it down and go home and request it from the library.) The point is - how do you browse on Amazon? You go on Amazon when you know what you want.

The Kindle has thousands of free books, thousands of books for less than $3.99, thousands, millions of choices. How would you ever browse through all of that to see something you wanted?

The demise of the big book stores is devastating. My only hope is that small, independent book stores begin to flourish as people miss browsing and discovering an unexpected find, hold it in their hands and take it home.

Best-selling author Jonathan Franzen has spoken of his fear that ebooks will have a detrimental effect on the world - and his belief that serious readers will always prefer print editions.He says a "sense of permanence has always been part of the experience."

How will you hand down your favorite books to your children - by giving them an outdated and obsolete rectangular electronic device? Because surely these reading machines will evolve and change as fast as an iphone.

Now I can get library books on the Kindle. This is something worthwhile. Because library books are borrowed anyway. you don't keep them. But if I ever read a borrowed book that I love so much that belongs on my top shelf, you can bet I will go out and find the print edition so I can keep it, lend it, refer to it, reread it and have it forever.

My Birthday

Today is my birthday. I have a book on my new Kindle Fire that gives readings from the poet Rainer Maria Rilke for every day of the year. I was struck by the one for January 30 so I thought I'd share it with you all. It reminds me of something I would write myself.

Alone

No. Of my heart I will make a tower
and stand on its very edge,
where nothing else exists - just once again pain
and what cannot be said, and once again world.

Once again in all that vastness
now dark, now light again, the single thing I am,
one final face confronting
what can never be appeased.

That ultimate face, enduring as stone,
at one with its gravity,
drawn by distances that could dissolve it
into some promise of the sacred.

Love Thy Neighbor

When you hear potential leaders of our country disrespecting each other,
When you hear millionaires say that poor people should just get a job,
When you hear them say that people without health care should die,
When they judge some fellow Americans and would deny them the same rights that we all cherish, the same ones that allow us the "pursuit of happiness".
When they claim that abortion is wrong but not funding programs for all the impoverished unwanted children is ok,
When they believe they should decide whether women should have access to contraceptives -

When these people call themselves Christians,
ask yourself what "Love Thy Neighbor" means to you.
Look in your Bible for a list of exceptions to that rule.
You won't find them anywhere.

Pure Beauty

Of course, an upload on a blog on a computer screen could never do justice to a painting like this - or any other work of art for that matter. Art is like the Grand Canyon - you have to see it in person. My mom and I went to the Akron Art Museum to see a wonderful show of Impressionists - but the difference was that the vast majority of this show was American Impressionists, not European - many I had not heard of before.

This painting literally glowed from across the room -the sunlight shining on the faces and reflecting under their chins. The sky so clear and blue you believed you were there with them. I was drawn across the room and did not want to leave it.

Every time I go to an art museum or special exhibit I always choose my favorite before I leave and this was definitely it. Yes, the theme is a bit sugary and prosaic, but how can you argue with pure beauty?

It is called "On the Heights" by Charles Courtney Curran. It was painted in 1909. Curran was an extremely successful American Impressionist. He lived from 1861-1942, born in Kentucky and lived in Sandusky, Ohio. This beauty hangs in the Brooklyn Museum in New York so I am grateful to have seen it.

Coexist with Kindness

So many gods,
so many creeds,
so many paths
that wind and wind.
While just the art
of being kind
is all the sad worlds needs.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox
poet, 1850-1899

(Artist listed only as Sawyer.)

For the Love of Winter

My abundance is in winter.
I dwell in the peace of the silent snow,
sitting by the yellow light of a lamp
with a blanket and a book,
or comfortably close to him on the love seat.

I find joy in the lack of humidity and
the offensive noise of lawn mowers.
I feel happy covering my homely limbs
with sweaters and jeans instead
of sticky sunscreen and sweat,
and justified in drinking another hot tea.

There is beauty in the stark outline
of trees and squirrels against whiteness,
or watching my little dog sniff deer tracks
and race inside with a snowy nose.

To come out of the quiet cold
into a warmth of a home,
to hear the furnace kick on,
to snuggle up to a warmer body
under chilly bedsheets
is the abundance of winter.

Serenity

God is Good

We've been to so many funerals this past year. I have a feeling that this trend will not let up as we get older. Two of those funerals were of family members and my husband and I were the recipients of condolences. People say many things that sound like cliches or benign comments just so they have something to say. But I reminded my husband that people often say things that they truly believe. Many years ago I said something that I meant to be comforting but was distressing to the mourner. I will never forget that and try to think before I speak in those situations.

None of us can truly know the mysteries of this world. Why do some people seem to have easy lives and others suffer? Why are there wars, crime and natural disasters? If you are a person of faith you must decide what you believe God's role is in this earthly life we live. As I've written before I believe that we are given free will and the vast majority of our circumstances result from our own choices. God allows us to make our choices he doesn't cause them.

At the time of a death many people, in their desire to accept and understand, will say it was God's will. Or they may say that God needed another angel in heaven. While these notions can be comforting, they also blame God for the death. Do you believe God wants to hurt us? Make us suffer? If so, we are doomed, aren't we?

An essay in the Cleveland Plain Dealer on Saturday made excellent points. The essay was written by a well-known local pastor, Rev. Kenneth Chalker. His writings and ideas make complete sense to me and are so reasonable. He wrote on the topic of whether God is good or whether he causes disasters and suffering. You no doubt heard that God was punishing our nation with Hurricane Katrina and 9/11. Rev. Chalker writes:

There is, to be sure, a living, loving Creator of us all. God reveals God's self, not in the cause of our suffering but rather in the great mystery of good. God is in the inspiring presence that motivates discovery and encourages science and learning. God heals through the development of medicine, thrives in the hearts of first responders and long-term caregivers. Look for God there.

God is not in the earthquake and the storm. God is found among the emergency crews and those doing the best of things in the worst of times. God is the still small voice within us that brings joy. God is the presence that encourages, uplifts, transforms, does justice, resists evil, strengthens, gives hope and is the source of purpose in all our days.

COEXIST XXXIII - The Kindness Alternative

On New Year's Day we had 45 friends, family and neighbors fill our home with joyful chatter and laughter. It was a wonderful way to start the year. Associating with so many dear people made me think about how kind and loving most people are - as opposed to the impression we are given of human beings through the media, news, TV, movies etc. I have a great deal of trouble listening to politicians and talking heads who do nothing but criticize and belittle others.

So this year as the presidential race gets going I propose the "Kindness Alternative." Don't let the animosity of those who have a platform cause you to lose faith in the kindness and goodness of people. Pay attention to your own speech and when you may be offending someone. Turn off divisive news and radio programs. Fill your life with good people. Stop all gossip, which is nothing more than judgement. Listen to others. Express yourself in a respectful manner. Be the change you want to see in the world.

So many of the presidential candidates boast of their Christian faith - but remember the example of Jesus. His example was of humility, forgiveness and grace. He told us to pray in private. His whole ministry was based on advocating for the poor and outcast over the wealthy and powerful. He told us to "turn the other cheek", which superceded the Old Testament "eye for an eye." He accepted and dined with the lowest members of society. He loved, not hated. He was a pacifist.

If you do not see the difference between the example of Jesus and the powerful, famous "Christians" we hear from in the media and politics then open your Bible and reread His words. Notice the things that Jesus did NOT say that are somehow attributed to Him now. I think you'll see the difference.

Wishing All of You...

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.
TS Eliot

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Albert Einstein

December Lament

It's the funeral march to the end of the year,
just a number, just a month, with joy to the world

and a slithering trail of regrets gaining on me
like a holiday rattlesnake about to strike, sending poison

to the veiny, icy backs of my hands. Visions relentlessly
knock at the frosted windowpane of my mind

not of fairies and plums, but that first wet snowflake
on the windshield, that sudden chord of a song,

a broken ornament, children who are no longer children,
what the year was not, and someone who is not here.

Silent snow falls on my winter sorrows, until I look up
from my lament and see God in your eyes.

Coexist This Christmas

Words for a Winter Solstice

Blow, blow, thou winter wind.
Thou art so unkind,
as man's ingratitude.
Wm. Shakespeare


One kind word can warm three winter months.
Chinese proverb


Winter is on my head,
but eternal spring is
in my heart.
Victor Hugo


It snowed and snowed, the whole world over,
snow swept the world from end to end.
A candle burned on the table;
A candle burned.
Boris Pasternak



Winter is my favorite season. I look forward to feeling cozy and warm and safe, snuggling up to my daughter on the couch with a book. Winter is quiet. The windows closed, the traffic mute, the snow peaceful in its descent to the ground.
Diane Vogel Ferri
from The Desire Path

There is Faint Music

There is faint music in the night
and pale wings fanned by silver flight.
A frosty hill with tender glow
of countless stars that shine on snow.

A shelter from the winter storm,
a straw-lined manger safe and warm,
and Mary singing lullabies
to hush her baby's sleepy sighs.

Her eyes are fixed upon his face,
unheeded here is time and space.
Her heart is filled with blinding joy
for God's own son, her baby boy.

Nancy Buckley

Love and Coexist With Thy Neighbor

Happy Holidays v. Merry Christmas - COEXIST

Coexist with all holidays.
As a Christian I do not understand why some people of my faith insist that everyone wish them a Merry Christmas. I really don't get it. As a Christian, or just as a sensitive human being, surely we realize that everyone in the world doesn't celebrate Christmas - whether we want them to or not. The Bible is full of directives to love everyone, and in loving others we respect them. It matters not whether we agree with them.

Romans 14 says "One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind."

It also says " The man who eats everything must not look down on the man who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn. Who are you to judge someone else's servant?"

To me that says it all. We are to respect other people's choices and not judge. "Christians" who insist that everyone acknowledge only their chosen holiday are being disrespectful, insensitive and offensive themselves. It is not, in fact, everyone's holiday! Live in the real world.

If someone says Happy Holidays to you - is your faith so small that it somehow would change your beliefs or your celebration of them? Of course not. So why force your beliefs on others. God gave all of his creations free will - and that goes for everyone, not just Christians.

I follow a group called "Christians Tired of Being Misrepresented" on Facebook and that is how I feel almost everyday.

Stalking

The blue heron has been at the edge
of the pond all morning, stalking fish
with surreal patience, with the stillness

of a lawn ornament or my unmoving
body lying next to yours at night.
He makes no sound, just like us.

The fish does not know that the heron
is there, even though surely it could look up
and see what is so close.

The heron crouches low, just as I am
sometimes, as we are,
half of what could be.

Then the great bird sees what it wants,
its mouth plunges into the water and pulls
out the prize that will sustain its life.

The fish does not fight the inevitable.
The heron stands proudly upright to savor
the moment before swallowing the fish whole.

Family and Gay Americans

Please click on the link to see something beautiful.

Two Lesbians Raised A Baby And This Is What They Got

Penfield House

I spent the evening in a house that took me back to memories of high school, but also one that I did not appreciate when I visited it as part of my art class all those years ago. It is the Penfield House in Willoughby, Ohio. Louis Penfield was my high school art teacher. He was 6'8" tall and commissioned Frank Lloyd Wright to design a home that suited his size. (I'm thinking he had more money than just for his schoolteacher job.) The home, overlooking the Chagrin River, is one of 9 Usonian homes that Wright designed. They are small, minimalist and very peacefully settle into the landscape around them.

Last March I had seen Falling Water (PA) for the first time and I loved it. I don't think these houses would please everyone, but I like clean lines and a minimal amount of "stuff" so they are very appealing to me. I was impressed with myself that the house and lot was just as I remembered - because, believe me, it was a long time ago!

The house was built in 1955 and we were invited to an evening of 50's style clothing and cocktails. I was thrilled to wander the house at will. It is very open, ceiling to floor windows, a carport ( a term coined by Wright), and a "floating stairway." The bedrooms are small, and to suit Mr. Penfield everything was taller - even the door handles were located at about my shoulder height.

Mr. Penfield apparently commisioned Mr. Wright to design a second house because he thought the highways being built in the late 50's and early 60's were going to intrude on his peace and quiet. The day the Penfields received the drawing for the new house, Mr. Wright passed away. The drawing hangs in the hallway of the Penfield House. The second house was never built and some are continually trying to raise money to still have it built someday, being Wright's last residential design.

I have been very inspired by the Frank Lloyd Wright homes, however, they are not homes built to last forever. Falling Water had to be partially rebuilt in the 1990's and the Penfield House was renovated in the 1980's at $100,000 cost to his son. So, even though they are unique, they were not necessarily well designed - something I am sure Mr. Wright would have never admitted to in his time.

Table Grace

by Gary Johnson

Here we sit as evening falls
Like old horses in their stalls.
Thank you Father, that you bless
Us with food and an address.
And the comfort of your hand
In this great and blessed land.
Look around at each dear face,
Keep each one in your good grace.
We think of those who went before,
And wish we could have loved them more.
Grant to us a cheerful heart,
Knowing we must soon depart
to that far land to be with them.
And now let's eat. Praise God. Amen

Stella

She knows the sound of hair spray means I will be coming out of the bathroom.
She knows the shoes that mean we're going for a walk.
She know words - lots of them, because yes, I talk to her constantly.
She anticipates every room that we are going into.
She knows the sound of my spoon clinking in the cereal bowl means breakfast is over.
She hears the crinkle of a bag of shredded cheese from rooms away and knows she'll get a little pile of it on the floor.
She knows my fingers snapping in the night mean - stop that horrible licking.
She is a relentless hunter, catching only one squirrel in 8 noble years of trying (and then dropping it in confusion)
She hears one single sniffle and she is immediately at my side pleading to be a comfort. Her eyes locked on mine - fearful but steadfast.
She knows without a doubt when I need her, when I need a snuggle, when I am lonely. And she is always right. She's a gift from God. Like all dogs, giving unconditional love, forgiving, affectionate and true.
She's just a mutt that nobody wanted - but I'm glad we found each other.

Why Not?

Are We Truly a Christian Nation?

These are excerpts from an article called "My Take: Reactions to Cain, Paterno Point to a Not-so-Christian Nation,"
by Stephen Prothero, who is a regular CNN Belief blog contributor.

In the never-ending debate over whether the United States is a Christian nation, recent events support the nay-sayers. I am referring to the troubles of Herman Cain and Joe Paterno.

How we respond to ethical conundrums often boils down to empathy. In the abortion debate, do you identify with the woman who wants an abortion, or with the fetus?

One purpose of the world's great religions is to widen our circle of empathy beyond ourselves and our families to others in the community, and in the wider world. Christianity, for example, has long taught that we should empathize with " the least of these", and particularly the poor and oppressed. (Luke 4:18)

When we look at the Herman Cain campaign, do our hearts go out to the wealthy businessman and White House contender, or do they go out to the women who are accusing him or sexual improprieties?

When we gaze at Penn State, do our hearts go out to the boys, some as young as 10, who were allegedly sexually assaulted by a former coach under Paterno? Or do we empathize with Paterno?

When I turn on the television and see "family values" conservatives jumping to Cain's defense within hours of the first charges surfacing, or Penn State students rioting over the decision of their university's Board of Trustees to fire Paterno, I have to ask myself, "What has happened to our supposedly Christian nation?"

I know that in the United States defendants are considered innocent until proven guilty. But I am not talking about the law here. I am talking about where our hearts incline, and whether they incline in a Christian direction.

I do not know if Jesus is a Penn State fan. He may well be, But if he were here today, would he be laying flowers at the front door of Paterno's house (as many students have done), or would he be seeking out the boys whose lives have allegedly been so irreparably damaged?

Would he be standing alongside Cain's lawyer as he issues not-so-veiled threats against accusers who have not yet gone public with their stories, or would he be standing by their side?

In your heart of hearts I think you know the answer.

Reluctance

by Robert Frost

Out through the fields and the wood
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world and descended
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question "Whither?"

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less that a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,

And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

Voting

Voting is an act of optimism. It doesn't mean that you agree with everything the person does thereafter. Vote your conscience - not a party. Diane Ferri

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct. Thomas Jefferson

WWJD

The Aurora Borealis in Ohio

I saw the aurora borealis last night! In Ohio! It is also known as the Northern Lights and I didn't know it was possible to see it here. My hubby and I were out in the hot tub around 9:30 PM. I saw a vertical streak of red in the sky and it grew a deeper red. Then we noticed another horizontal patch of bright red in the northern sky. It was beautiful but we were a little freaked out because we didn't know what it was. It only lasted 10 minutes or so and I feel like it was a once in a lifetime chance to see something unique and indescribable. This photo is not mine, but it is the closest thing I could find on the Internet that compared with what we saw last night. My husband also saw two shooting stars last night!

I Do Love my iPod

Today is the 10th birthday of the iPod. Of all the recent technological inventions I believe it is my favorite. What's better than taking all your favorite music wherever you go? I leave it on shuffle and constantly hear songs and artists that I wouldn't probably search out - but I love them because they are from my music collection! Apple unveiled it on this date in 2001. It was created under the code name "Dulcimer" and was presented a few months after Apple released iTunes, it's program to convert audio D's into digital files. The original iPod had a 5 gigabyte hard drive and Apple founder Steve Jobs declared it would put "1000 songs in your pocket" and it does! The name was inspired by a scene from "2001"A Space Odyssey" which included the line, "Open the pod bay door, Hal!"

Around the Emerald Necklace of Cleveland

The first photo is Squire's Castle in the North Chagrin Reservation. The next two are at Brandywine Falls in the Cuyahoga Valley National Park, and the last is nearby on the towpath trail which will soon extend from Akron to Cleveland. Amazing beauty that we all take for granted too often.

What Do You Really Believe?

If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we've got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition - and then admit that we just don't want to do it.
Stephen Colbert

The First Occupy Wall Street Protester

Testing Children

Once again, I am feeling frustrated in the age of "blaming teachers" for everything from students underachieving(regardless of the circumstances)to making too much money that has ruined the state budget.

I would like to share some excerpts from an article by Diane Ravitch, a former US assistant secretary of education, a historian of education and a professor at New York University. the article addresses the failure of No Child Left Behind, the ten years of testing students grades 3-12.

Maybe standardized tests are not good predictors of future economic success or decline. Perhaps our country has succeeded not because of test scores but because we encouraged something more important than test scores - the freedom to create, innovate and imagine.

Instead of sending the vast amounts of money that schools needed to make a dent in this goal, Congress simply sent testing mandates that required that every child in every school reach proficiency by 2014 - or the schools would be subject to sanctions. If a school failed to make progress over five years, it might be closed, privatized ,handed over to the state authorities or turned into a charter school.

The fundamental belief that carrots and sticks will improve education is a leap of faith, an ideology to which its adherents cling despite evidence to the contrary.. . experts who concluded that incentives based on tests hadn't worked.

. . . testing every child every year and grading teachers by their student's scores - is not found in any of the world's top performing nations.

Piece by piece our entire public education system is being redesigned in the service of increasing test scores on standardized tests at the expense of creativity, innovation and imagination that helped this country succeed.. . competition produces winners and losers, not equality of educational opportunity

When despair for the world grows in me . . .

I've realized lately that the divisive state of our country, the injustices I read about and see on the news daily are beginning to stretch my soul and spirit.

From a young age I had a sense of indignation at injustices and it was then that I began writing about them. Then, as an adult, I became completely consumed with raising children, various relationships, and discovering myself and how I would spend my time in life. My 30's and 40's were turbulent, and life is a little calmer now.

My mind is uncongested of so many yearnings now. I attribute this to my new-found frustrations with politicians, education, infighting and generally NOT coexisting!

There is a running dialogue in my head on various topics and I don't like it! There may be times when righteous anger makes a real difference, but in reality we have very little say and very little impact on the larger world. We can, of course, make smaller positive changes in our own corner of the world and sometimes this is all we can do.

In a moment of serendipity I came across this poem today. The first and last lines captivated me. I don't want to live in a state of anger or even frustration so tonight instead of watching the news I will come into the peace of wild things.

The Peace of Wild Things

by Wendell Berry

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water,
and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Coexisting With . . . Crows.

I just read an amazing book called "Crow Planet" by Lyanda Lynn Haupt. Your first reaction is probably - crows? Yuk! Those disgusting birds picking at bloody roadkill?

Well, of course they are just finding their daily bread like the rest of us. Personally I am always enchanted with birds. They are my favorite of God's creatures (along with dogs) and I think they are all beautiful (even the Canadian geese that traverse and befoul our yards and neighborhoods). Haupt convinces us of the intelligence and ingenuity of the ever-present crows. She tells of how they have learned to drop a nut from a tree onto a road and wait for a car to run it over and crack it before swooping down to retrieve it. She tells of how playful the crows are, taking a stick into the air, dropping it and then catching it on the way down.

What this book really did for me is remind me to slow down and observe what is around me. I love seeing the wildlife around me, but do I really observe what they are doing?

I want to co-create a nation of watchers, of naturalists-in-progress, none of us perfect, all sharing in the effort of watching, knowing, understanding, protecting, and living well alongside the wild life with whom we share our cities, our neighborhoods, our households, our yards, our ecosystems, our earth. All of us in cafes, pulling out our laptops and beside them our binoculars, just in case we want to see how that crow outside the window is doing with his bit of garbage, how his feet work to hold down the paper bag while his nimble bill extracts the french fries. Just in case we want to see, above the crows, the swooping swallows that only days ago arrived all the way from Mexico, violet feathers shimmering. From the swallows we can turn to the person at the table across the way and say, "Did you ever see a more beautiful color of blue?"

Coexisting in Scripture

My favorite book of the bible has always been Romans because I think it gives reasonable and common sense guidelines on how to live in this world. You must adapt some things to the century we're living in, of course. When the following scripture was read in church a couple weeks ago it struck me as very timely. With a presidential election coming at us all too quickly I notice how many candidates use their Christianity as a part of their platform - then turn around and slander, belittle and berate their opponents. In some ways my indignant posts are judging them I suppose, but I have not chosen to put myself on the world stage proclaiming my sanctity either. I can't seem to hear anyone who only has insulting comments to make on others. I wish there would be a debate when candidates were only allowed to speak for themselves and not the other people standing there.

Accept him whose faith is weak without passing judgement on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
Romans 14:1-4

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
Romans 14:13

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.
Romans 14:19

In Honor of Lou Suarez

I am posting a beautiful poem by Lou Suarez, my poetry mentor and friend.

At Last

by Lou Suarez

We rise to work, then rest to rise
again, the cancer in your breast
familiar now as this scarred
nightstand beside our bed,
still stunning as the mountain
trails we hiked just last autumn.

Remember how, at one vantage,
dangling your feet over the edge,
you fractured shale stones and
flung the debris into a gust of wind
overhead. Our ears felt numb,
so silent was the violet dusk,

so tender our soft tissue then.
Today under the eaves a wren
sang. We listened, dissolving like
some new alloy, pliant and light,
heat and stress tolerant, tempered
by the cool song just before winter.

The Sacred Turning

In our dream of an unencumbered world
we lose the perfection and
what was never ours to keep.

The miles and years, pieces of purity,
when everything was summer-colored,
in the recalcitrant beauty of innocence.

The days we missed, the unopened book,
the gold dust lying in our open hands,
wishing for a static moment

to evolve out of the purple darkness
to the peach-pink of dawn,
an opus yet to be born.

We wait for our days of decision
to reverse, bringing light to our shadows
and the trembling truth behind eyes, ribs.

Neglecting out gifts and all we will never do,
we learn what not to hope for
as the urgency dies in the scarcity of time.

Life is a Judas kiss, a lamentable state,
and yet, in a sacred turning we may find
God was speaking to us all of the time.

September 11th

it snowed paper
it rained blood and tears
it ushered in a united pain
then we heard screaming
and our songs
and an altered skyline
we saw flags
we inhaled dust and fear
we touched a future
veiled in smoke and war
we loved our freedom and comfort
we saw it collapse before
our eyes

Labor Day and Unions

History is a great teacher. Now everyone knows that the labor movement did not diminish the strength of the nation, but enlarged it by raising the living standards of millions. Labor miraculously created a market for industry and lifted a whole nation to undreamed of levels of production. Those who attack labor unions forget these simple truths, but history remembers them.
Martin Luther King Jr.

With all their faults, trade unions have done more for humanity than any other organization of men that ever existed. They have done more for decency, for honesty, for education, for the betterment of the race, for developing the character of man than any other association of men.
Clarence Darrow

Our labor unions are not narrow self-seeking groups. They have raised wages, shortened hours and provided supplemental benefits. Through collective bargaining and grievance procedures they have brought justice and democracy to the shop floor.
John F. Kennedy

Quotes for the Last Day of August

Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much of life. So aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.
Henry David Thoreau
1817-1862

Where is the life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
T.S. Eliot
1888-1965

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
William James
1842-1910

Yoga

Well, today is my last day of summer. It has been wonderful and I will be returning to teaching on Monday. Every summer I fill with writing, seeing friends and family and doing household projects. This summer I added yoga. I have done yoga poses and positions, or asanas, for over 30 years. But this summer I learned the "practice" of yoga by attending classes 2-3 times a week. Each class is an hour and 15 minutes (and some of them kicked my butt!) Through the classes and all the wonderful teachers I learned the real meaning of yoga practice - but I am still a beginner. I see the value of classes because there are too many distractions at home.

Yoga is the state of union between two opposites - body and mind. Between individual consciousness and universal consciousness. It is a process of uniting the opposing forces in the body and mind in order to achieve supreme awareness and enlightenment.

As you go through the various asanas you are guided by the instructor in your thoughts as well as what your body is feeling. You become aware of every unique part of your body and each muscle's job. You find your mind clearing of all the worldly crap that may be taking up space there. At the end of the class there is always a time of mouna - or the practice of silence, when you can fully experience the relaxing effects of the past hour. You leave feeling strong and whole and united in mind and body. I will miss the mouna - the silence, the most when I return to the elementary school next week. But I will make an effort to continue my classes and practice as much as possible because I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of yoga this summer.

This is what the teacher said yesterday: You are a vibrant expression of infinite intelligence. :)

This Grand Show

This grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never dried all at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal dawn and gloaming; on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls.
John Muir
naturalist, explorer, writer 1838-1914


Photo of sunrise on the Carribean July 2011

Good Books

One of the wonderful things about summer for a teacher is the time to read. Somehow a good book is even more appealing while sitting on the deck (or beach) with a nice glass of wine or a cool iced tea.

I read four excellent books this summer and I want to share them with you.

Cutting For Stone by Abraham Verghese. I love books that are sagas, that span a long period of time. This story starts out in Ethiopia with the tragic and compelling birth of conjoined twins, brothers who are separated at birth while their mother, a nun, dies in childbirth. Their father, a doctor, witnesses her death and abandons his boys to an Indian doctor, who raises them as her own. It continues for the next 25 years of their lives, through loss and betrayal, but with an almost mystical bond that the boys have. They both become physicians and one ends up in New York City. The book has an unexpected and shocking ending. Well worth the read.

American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I never thought I'd read a Neil Gaiman book. He is most well-known for writing a type of fantasy and the Sandman graphic novels. Not my thing, but curiosity got the best of me. Even as I was reading the epic American Gods I was shocked that I was loving it. I chose the 10th anniversary issue which advertised "author's preferred text". I just discovered that it contained 12,000 extra words from the original! I cannot even describe this book to you so I am giving you the Wikipedia description:
"The novel is a blend of American, fantasy and various strands of ancient and modern mythology, all centered on a mysterious and taciturn protagonist, Shadow."
Gaiman is from England and now lives in America. This is his take on what makes America spin.

State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. If I could write like anyone I might choose to be Ann Patchett. She is also the author of Bel Canto and The Patron Saint of Liars. Her books are wildly diverse in their topics. State of Wonder takes an American research scientist into the jungles of Brazil to check on the progress of an elusive scientist for a pharmaceutical company. She is also sent to discover what happened to a coworker who was reported dead. There, she becomes enveloped in the Amazonian tribe and their ways of living. It's a fascinating look into a world most of us know nothing about. Also, has quite a cool ending.

Life by Keith Richards. I can't really call myself a Rolling Stones fan let alone a Keith Richards fan, but I love autobiographies if they are well written and take you on journey into the person's life - and this one does that. He writes in a charming way. I particularly enjoy discovering how famous or successful people came to do what they have done, and this one is no exception. I did learn more about recreational drugs than I eve needed to know, but it was still a great read.

If you read, or have read any of these I'd love to read your comments. and of course, my own book The Desire Path is still available if you're looking for a good book:))

What is Not Expressed

This is an excerpt from a book called "The Book Of Awakening" by Mark Nepo. It is a book of inspirational essays for every day of the year. My poem, "Unopened" (see below) is about my confusion at sometimes feeling rejected and even disrespected for the ways that I am compelled to express myself. I have experienced the desire for self-expression to be a blessing and a curse. People react with anything from encouragement and support to indifference and bitterness. I am always taken aback by the range of reactions since I consider what I share with the world from my heart and soul - with no other agenda but to do what God has given me to do.

One of my favorite quotes is from Stephen King, who says - "If God gives you something to do, why in the world wouldn't you do it?"
Another is from Mark Twain:
"Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you can become great."

A recent discouraging experience was in extreme contrast to my friend, Gail, who is a writer and poet, who took the time the other day to call me just to encourage me to continue promoting my new book. She had put a great deal of thought into ways that I could market it and assured me that she found the book worth every bit of effort I could give it. Amazing generosity.

What is Not Expressed
It seems the more we express, that is, bring out what is in, the more alive we are. The more we give voice to our pain in living, the less build-up we have between our soul and our way in the world. However, the more we depress, the more we push down and keep in , the smaller we become. The more we stuff between our heart and our daily experience, the more we have to work through to feel life directly. Our expressed life can become a callus we carry around and manicure, but never remove. Experience can in effect lose its essential tenderness and poignancy, as we mistakenly conclude that life is losing its meaning. To a man unaware of the cataracts filming his eyes, the world seems dimmer, not his seeing. How often do we find the world less stimulating, unaware our heart is diminished because its encasement in all that remains unexpressed?

Unopened

It is only risking ourselves from one hour to another that we live at all.
William James

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you too can become great.
Mark Twain


I laid myself open,
freely sharing what God had given me to do,

what, for years, had joyously been rendered
from within my heart and spirit.

But the gift was left unopened in indifference,
an experience denied in a poverty of the imagination,

erasing years of acquaintances,
making all former conversations moot,

leaving me a stranger when I longed for an embrace,
a sharing of spirits and souls and friendship.

But it cannot diminish me,
it will not remove the truth and beauty

of the unopened gift.
It will not vanquish what I meant for good.

My New Heroine

Dame Helen Mirren, 66 years old, was recently voted "Best Bod" by a fitness magazine. This is what she recently said to Women and Home magazine.
"My big complaint is, why aren't more dresses made with sleeves? I don't want to wear a frumpy jacket over a sleeveless dress, and it enrages me that it's so difficult to find anything beautiful with sleeves. If you think of Elizabethan dresses or turn-of-the-century fashions, there are some amazing things you can do with sleeves, so why do so few designers put them on dresses?"

My sentiments EXACTLY! Thank you Helen. I hope someone listens.

So Sad - The End of Our Bookstores?

All I have heard is people expressing sadness over the closing of Borders. I feel the same way. Not just because it seems to be a frightening end of an era for all of us baby-boomers, but because I have personal feelings about our Borders as well.

There is a Borders right around the corner from my house. My husband and I went through some difficult years, in part, because we were restricted in where we could go and how long we could stay away from the house. Borders became a haven for us. It was sort of like our date night during the week where we could browse in the relative quiet with a coffee or a chai tea latte ( I never got over them changing my favorite chai tea to something much less tasty). We'd go our separate ways but end up back in the cafe sharing what we'd found on our journeys through the store. There was always something new to see. For a while my writer's group met there in the cafe as well. It just seemed like a natural place for writers to meet.

I completely understand the prominence and importance of electronic media. I have no problem with people who are enamored of their Kindles or Nooks. I think shopping on Amazon is fine if you know exactly what book you're looking for. But browse the Internet for a good book? I don't think so.

How many times has the cover or title of a book caught your eye? Then what did you do? You picked the book up, maybe read the cover, flipped through, felt it in your hands, noticed how many pages it had. Then maybe you put it back on the shelf - only to come back later when you realized you wanted to read it.

I can't imagine how many books I would NOT have read if I hadn't been able to peruse them in the book store. That is being taken away from us now.

The only bright spot I can see in the closing of so many "big box" bookstores is a reverse in the dwindling number of independent book stores. Did you ever see the movie - "You've Got Mail"? Your heart breaks when Meg Ryan has to close her mother's children's book store in the middle of New York City because she has been run out of business. Now the independent stores that have somehow survived those years I think will begin to thrive because book-lovers love looking at and holding real books. I think this is true for my generation and my children's generation as well.

When my daughter was a young girl she was in love with "The Babysitter's Club" books. It was an anticipated event to get to the bookstore on the day the new one came out to buy it. I had little money then, but nothing made me happier than buying a book for her that I knew she would read and enjoy. We would arrive at home and she would immediately crawl into her bed and start reading. How would that have compared to ordering it on the web for a 9 year-old?

I'm not sure what will become of actual physical books once the children born in this millennium grow up. All I know is that all three times I have opened a box and pulled out a book that I wrote and held it in my hands, I cried. Writing those books would have never felt complete without seeing it in someone's hands - or seeing it on my bookshelf.

Our Mexico Vacation

Last week I was fortunate to spend my days on the beach in Mexico. My husband and I have had two close family deaths in the past 6 months and we used the week to just BE together - in peaceful respite. Somehow the beauty of the Caribbean Sea, the sound of the relentless waves and the opportunity to leave the world behind for a few days was healing. I did not see a computer screen for 6 days and did not miss it at all, but I am happy to share a few photos from our week.

This was the view from our room.



I loved exploring the tidepools and finding all kinds of creatures - thousands of sea snails clustered together in their colonies.



The water is perfectly clear and full of lovely (and friendly) iridescent blue/silver fish as well as some yellow and black striped ones that would circle around me, presumably looking for food.


We arose early on our last day to watch the sun rise on the Caribbean Sea.

PS - I am unsure about the spelling of Carribean - Caribbean. The dictionary has the latter, but it was spelled with two R's in this morning's paper. I'm a spelling nut.

Post Secrets part 2

On May 1st I shared some entries from a book called "Post Secrets - Confessions on Life, Death and God." They are real secrets that are mailed anonymously to a man named Frank Warren and he compiles them into books. They come from all types of people from all over the world. Here are some more:(a little more light-hearted)

I'm an artist. Sometimes I give my pottery and painting to Goodwill in hopes that someone will fall in love with them.

When another woman steals your man the best revenge is to let her keep him!

My dad is my hero. He's dedicated his life to God and his faith, and made me a better person, So if there isn't a heaven I WILL kick some ASS.

I'm starting rabbinical school and I love BACON!

Seeing happy families doesn't make me sad anymore now that I've joined yours.

If my dog were human I think he would look like Brad Pitt.

Sometimes I text the "wrong" person..on purpose, just to start a conversation.

When I cook alone I always pretend I'm cooking for the Food Network.. audience and all.

I had an entire fake conversation on my cell phone so that I could brag about my kids to the snotty neighbor who I know was listening through the fence.

I make purposeful eye contact with men as they leave the "adult film" video store. I find it amusing. They don't.

I hate my living room couch so I let my dogs pee on it to force my husband into buying a new one.

A Little Excerpt from The Desire Path

Walking the streets of Manhattan felt like being in a tornado, but it was an organized sort of chaos. The w-a-a-a- of sirens and car horns and the wind shoving itself between buildings created a constant roar. I inhaled garlic, curry and grease. At first the whoosh of hot air from the sidewalk grates coming from the subway felt like an unexpected violation, but I soon got used to it. The walkways under scaffolding displayed dozens of posters and signs to read, and as the day fell into night, the neon glow attacked my eyeballs in its intensity. I would find myself standing for indefinite amounts of time on a corner just to watch the energy. Plastic bags defied gravity and rose straight up into the clouds. I studied the faces of the women in suits and running shoes, or men doing business as they walked while dodging and weaving and never touching. I would imagine where they were all going and wish I had a place to go, too. I'd never experienced anything so alien or massive, and even though I was as directionless as those plastic bags, I loved New York City.

What's Your Idea of Heaven?

I recently read Keith Richards' memoir called "Life". I didn't read it because I was ever that much of a fan of the Rolling Stones, but I love to read about how people came to be who they are and do what they do. Always fascinating to me. Well, in this particular book I learned more about drugs than I ever needed to know and I do wonder how this man is still alive. It seems all successful groups break up at one point because of personality conflicts and usually one member tries to take over and be the star. (I just saw the musical "Jersey Boys" the other night. It's the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons - many similarities. And what a great, entertaining show - I highly recommend it!)

I digress. There was one passage in Keith Richards' book that I found interesting. At no point did he profess to have a faith, but apparently he married into a religious family and therefore has had to do some reflection. This is what he wrote about heaven. Since none of us really have a clue about it this might be as good an explanation as any other. I kinda liked it.

"I've never found heaven, for example, a particularly interesting place to go. In fact, I take the view that God, in his infinite wisdom, didn't bother to spring for two joints - heaven and hell. They're the same place, but heaven is when you get everything you want and you meet Mummy and Daddy and your best friends and you all have a hug and a kiss and play your harps. Hell is the same place - no fire and brimstone - but they just all pass by and don't see you. There's nothing. No recognition. You're waving, "It's me, your father," but you're invisible. You're on a cloud, you've got your harp, but you can't play with nobody because they don't see you. That's hell."

The reason that makes sense to me is because A) I don't believe that my God is a punishing God. He made us, He loves us. B) I believe we are on this earth to learn to love each other and to love God. Period. That's what I believe. And if we did not take the chance to love those around us, if we ignored the presence of God all the days of our lives then maybe we deserve to just be alone. And that, indeed, would be hell.