The Church Has Broken My Heart Again

First I was angry, indignant, now I’m heartbroken. The United Methodist Church has proven it is Divided—no different, no better than our riven country. A few verses taken out of context in the Old Testament have superseded the words of Jesus. (Verses that are surrounded with other dictates we do not live by any longer.) Jesus came to bring a new covenant. His message was love, acceptance and non-judgement. But fear wins. Judgement wins. I hope our denomination loses a significant amount of members. I hope there is a schism.

Bishops have voted to continue a ban on LGBTQ persons from marrying or serving as clergy in the United Methodist Church and to enforce this ruling. I wept throughout the service yesterday facing my choir director, a man devotedly and happily married to his husband. A man who has made my life better in every way; a friend, a mentor, a spiritual leader every single week. He draws people into the choir of every age, race and creed. He has done ten times more for others  than anyone else I know. He was crying too, and it broke my heart.

My pastor gave an impassioned and powerful message that our church would never exclude anyone. That we are the same diverse and loving church we were last week.  Of course, LGBTQ people are welcomed at our church. But what if two men or two women wanted our pastor to marry them in their beloved church home just as most of us have done? What if he did? Would he lose his job? Would we all lose his spirited and energetic leadership? Our church has continually grown over the years of his tenure—something rare in a mainline church. 

Many years ago an ego-driven minister moved my childhood church out of town. It was the place where three generations of my family met every Sunday. He took that from us and I grieved deeply. It split up friendships and left people without a church home and it was completely unnecessary. My children left the church which broke my heart. I told them that the church is not God. God does nothing to hurt His children. The church is made up of flawed human beings, and while I know that I still don’t understand why church leaders willingly choose anything that hurts its members. 

I hate the platitude: we love the sinner but hate the sin. No, you don’t love someone you are willing to deny basic human rights. Would you deny your own child food, shelter, love, acceptance?  From Corinthians 13: love is kind, love keeps no record of wrong, it always protects. Banning people from what brings them joy and fulfillment is not love. At the conference a young gay man gave a beautiful speech telling of his lifelong dream was to be a Methodist minister. He will be denied that dream.

I don’t believe those of us in the majority understand what it’s like to be marginalized, discriminated against, denied what the rest of us so freely take for granted. This country is fueled by fear right now and Jesus told us repeatedly to not be afraid. Laws are made to protect us. When has a person who is gay hurt you? How have they taken away your rights or ability to live out your own life the way you see fit? They haven’t? Well, that’s what we’ve done to them.

My Dear Friend

My dear friend,  

After decades of an easy and loving friendship we find ourselves on opposite sides politically.  You recently expressed an opinion that you know I disagree with and I said very little in fear of it coming between us. I have strong opinions with cogent reasons too, but I’m not sure you want to hear them. My beliefs do not come from a radio pundit, a political news channel or any particular columnist, but from experiences that slowly changed my views without me even being aware of it. It was a natural evolution for me, based on my life and my faith, so the conundrum is that we are both Christians yet see things so differently.

My own experience of struggling financially for a time (even though I went to college and had done all the personally responsible things), and teaching poor children for 20 years in a diverse district gave me a new perspective. The adults I now tutor often had no choice about leaving high school but were forced to to care for younger siblings or to get jobs. There is so much judgment of those whose lives we know nothing about. The richest country in the world should help their own, but the current administration seems determined to take every good thing away from us: public schools, the EPA (which has greatly improved our lives and health for decades), arts funding, women’s health care, children’s lunch and after-school programs, being irresponsible stewards of God’s creation by allowing pollution to take over again to name a few. They want to reduce food assistance even though it is a minuscule part of the budget. Ohio wants to defund the Positive Education Program for emotionally disturbed youth, to say nothing of defunding Planned Parenthood whose services prevent unwanted pregnancies. I could go on and on.

I am sincerely curious about how Christians reconcile these types of efforts with the teachings of Jesus. Breaking up immigrant families, putting the arguable right to own an assault rifle over the safety of American schoolchildren, unnecessarily raising rent on the poor, are all contrary to repeated commands of Jesus who showed us how to feed and care for the poor without question, to live peacefully and turn the other cheek.  He told us not to worry about tomorrow, that all people are our neighbors which includes Muslims, immigrants and the poor. And of course, to love our enemies. The words of politicians and the Second Amendment have superseded the words of Jesus.

You say you need guns because you fear “they” are coming for you. I don’t even know what that means. “Fear not,” is the most repeated command in the Bible, supposedly 365 times, one for every day. The commandment to not kill I take literally and don’t think there are exceptions. I do not find the promotion of guns pro-life. Just the opposite. “Do not be afraid of those who can kill the body and not the soul.” Mt 10:28. 

I do not oppose a conservative viewpoint but there is one news station that has done great damage to our country. Everyone I know who watches that station seems to live in fear and believe in conspiracies that never materialize.  I saw it happen to my own parents. They went from being happy and content to constantly worrying and even obsessing about things they heard on television.  Of course, none of their fears were realized. It was sad to me to see that change in them. They had the station on most of the day so I was exposed to it.  I heard daily ranting and vicious name-calling of Democrats. Don’t tell me that doesn’t have a divisive effect on people. There may be liberal viewpoints on other stations but I have never heard the ugly vitriol that I’ve heard on that station.

The thought of abortion repulses me, but I also do not judge those who feel they need one. I do not know their circumstances and believe judgement is left to God. There is great hypocrisy in wanting babies to be born, but not cared for after birth. When we remove help for those children, defund public school resources, food programs and the like we are just pro-birth, not pro-life. I have never walked in the shoes of a gay or transgender person so I do not have the right to tell them how to live their lives or what their human needs should be. It is only when we dehumanize people that we insist on our preferences over their civil and human rights.  

One of the most divisive ideas is that this has always been a White Christian country and what we saw on 1960’s television was the “way it’s always been.” Think Mayberry. But that is a false image. That was before the civil rights movement when black people were segregated in every way in this society,  when Japanese were interned, when what we saw on TV did not reflect reality for many Americans in any way.  Life wasn’t great for everyone in decades past so there is nothing idyllic to go back to.  Even though I attempt to live my life by Christian principles I do not believe this is a Christian country. It began as a Native American country and for a long time everyone was welcome here. Building a wall to keep people out and travel bans are in direct opposition to the freedom America stands for.  I have the right to worship as I want in America, but so does everyone else. 

Liberal and liberty share the same root word. It is defined as: marked by generosity, broad-minded, open to new opinions, and believes in political change. I am not ashamed of that and no one has convinced me of any of these views except living the life that God gave me and coming to know people unlike myself. There cannot possibly one right way to live among the billions of people on this planet. If God is the Creator then He made all of us.

So maybe we should find our common ground and stick to that.  All over this country relationships are strained by the deep divisions that we are exposed to 24 hours a day. Let’s not be one of them.

Why I Love The New York Times

This is not a paid advertisement or any other kind of advertisement - just something that occurred to me this morning as I leisurely read through the Sunday New York Times.

I learn something every week. I learn more than one thing. The logo subtitle is "Expect the World"and that is what you get. I believe that most ignorance and bigotry stems from a lack of a world knowledge and awareness that there is a whole planet out there, full of life and humans that are nothing like yourself.  Once you gain a larger perspective your mind and world opens up in glorious ways.

But I digress. (Again, my worldview is complete in posts from a year ago)

Today I read about schools "flipping". This means that students watch videos of teacher lectures at home, on their smartphones or computers. If they lack technology they can access them at the school tech lab. When they are in school they do projects and homework in small groups with teacher support. Teachers say it is a way to reach every child, to help kids with homework when there is no support at home. Students can view the lectures as many times as they want at home. It is timesaving and, although the article didn't say this, my guess is eliminates a lot of time taken up in social drama in the daily school hours.  Apparently, in some schools they are seeing great success with students who had previously failed classes. Failure rates have declined and graduation rates have increased.

I read an excellent article by Nicholas Kristof who writes nothing but excellent articles on the world's marginalized, underprivileged and forgotten - especially women and girls in sexual trafficking. Today it wasn't about some third world country - it was Nashville.

I read an article about Tim Gunn, of Project Runway fame, who never came out to his parents, but tried to commit suicide at 17.  Again, acknowledging that no one would choose to be gay, bullied, repressed and hidden. At the end of the article he said if he had succeeded killing himself he wouldn't have had the wonderful life he's had.

There is a whole page about German words that express the inexpressible in English. New proposed German words like herbstlaubtrittvergnugen which means kicking through piles of leaves - made up of the words autumn-foliage-strike-fun.  I like plauschplage - the pressure to make small talk with people you interact with every day. From prattle-plague.  That tells you something about me....

Another article delved into the connection between success and musical training
. Examples of many high achievers in government and media (like Condoleeza Rice who trained to be a concert pianist) were included. Makes a lot of sense.

The Arts and Leisure section, while giving me a yearning to be back in New York City, is always inspiring. The amount of human creativity exhibited in this section is a beautiful thing. I feel relieved that I cannot see all these wonders since I am not there - as opposed to when I see them in Cleveland papers and wonder why I am not going to all of them )usually a lack of someone to go with that would truly enjoy it as well.)

I put aside and savor the Sunday Magazine and the Book Review section to take into my week. I find a list of books each week to add to my reading list.

I could go on and on - that's just snippets of October 13, 2013 in The New York Times.

My Two Cents - The 2012 Election

I have spent more time reading and reflecting upon the politics of the United States during this long and tedious campaign season than I ever have in my lifetime. I am a progressive and believe in the social policies of the Democratic party. However, I made a true effort to understand the conservative Republican way of thinking. Many years ago I identified myself with the Republican party, so it was not as difficult as you might think.

But, as I have written in the preceding posts, my life experiences opened my eyes to the reality of the country I live in.  It is not the country I grew up in - or at least the one I perceived in the 50's and 60's.  After the election one commentator said: "The Republican party is a "Mad Men" party in a "Modern Family" world.  ( In reference to a TV program set in the 1960's versus one set in 2012 with a diverse extended family.)

The fact is that we do not live in a country made of middle-class white families with two children and a dog. Maybe we never did. Maybe that was our own personal experience.

We do live in a country of Hispanics, Blacks, immigrants, gay people, Muslims, Jews, Christians, atheists and many struggling people - sometimes through no fault of their own. People who did not have the opportunities, encouragement or support from their middle-class families as many of us did.

I get the fact that there are those who would take advantage of the welfare system. I get the fact that many people resent paying their hard-earned money to care for those people. The problem is that we all pay for the consequences of poverty anyway. Think about it.

I think everyone agrees that government should not constantly interfere in our lives. It's just that we look at that two different ways.  I think preventing people in committed relationships from marrying is government interfering in their lives. I think the government telling a woman what she can do with her own body is interfering in her life.

I see posts on social media by people I know to be very patriotic in their thinking. But those posts today reflect a negativity and unwillingness to respect our re-elected president. To me this is the opposite of patriotism. It is saying  - my way or no way.  It is what we have identified as being wrong with Washington - the inability to work together for the good of the country.  There were Republicans who admitted that their main goal was to make Obama fail. It was heard by many pundits and news anchors as well. If that is one's stance then they can call themselves a party member, but cannot call themselves an American. Because we are all America.

Obama received 332 electoral votes to Mitt Romney's 203 and it was clear that the minorities, women, and immigrants in this country favored Obama. As soon as we all face the reality of what our country is, not what we wish it was,  and we begin working together - only then will be truly to call ourselves the UNITED States of America.

COEXIST XXXIV - Part 2

(see below for  introduction)
I could write pages on the forthcoming issues, but I will keep them brief:

Gay Rights - if you have ever known or loved a gay person, if you have ever had that person look you in the eye and say "no one would choose this" you would never say it is a choice or a sin. Gays have always existed and always will. They are all races, faiths, and cultures. It is a human reality. They are not capable of changing someone's sexual orientation any more than you or me.  They desire lifelong , loving relationships, as all humans do and deserve to have the same rights as the rest of us.  The US government Accountability Office sites 1,138 rights enjoyed by heterosexual couples that are presently denied to gay couples.  Almost 10,000 young men and women who were willing to serve their country have been thrown out of the armed services because of who they are. (2008 data)

A couple of verses from the Old Testament are used to condemn these fellow human beings without acknowledging that the Old Testament bans dozens of things that we do everyday. Just a few:
Do not eat shellfish (Lev. 11:10)
Do not wear two fabrics together (Lev 19:19)
Men should not cut their sideburns or beard (Lev 19:27)

If you are a Christian then you know that Jesus came to bring a new law and a new covenant of love. Jesus did not condemn gay people and neither should we. His commandment was to love one another. It is beyond me how Christians choose a verse in Leviticus over Jesus's constant command to love one another and not judge one another.

"It is impossible to tell people we love them if we deny them the basic rights we enjoy. And loving people - all people - is clearly preached in the red letters of the bible.  (Matt 22:39)
Tony Campolo - renowned evangelist

Abortion - I personally would not have an abortion. I remember the first miraculous flutter in my belly. But I do not believe in making this choice for other women.  A woman's body belongs to her, not the government. Although 73% of abortions are economically motivated, people who are vigilant about the sanctity of life do not seem to believe in federal support of all the children born into poverty or help women who are not prepared to raise or support children.  We all pay for unwanted children through foster care, special education and social services.

To me, if you are truly pro-life then that means you should also be anti-war, anti-death penalty, anti-nuclear weapons, anti-gun, and anti anything that kills human beings. One human being is not more valuable than another.

Poverty - Jesus told us repeatedly to care for the poor and hungry. There are over 300 biblical references to this. Jesus told us to be peaceful and love others. It is not up to us to judge why someone is homeless or hungry. It is not up to us to dictate people's lives. When Jesus met a crowd of hungry people he did not ask questions, he just fed them. It is a fact that the world produces enough food for everyone.

In 2009 - 39.8 million Americans were classified as poor in the US census which grew from 32 million in 1999.

49 million Americans go hungry every night according to Food Research and Action Center and 22% are children.

The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much. It is whether we provide enough for those who have little.  FDR

The Biblical Teachings About Marriage

The Bible does not teach marriage as being between one man and one woman in a covenant of exclusive, spiritual and legal mutuality as well as an expectation of sexual fidelity. This is why Jesus was so clear in challenging the excessive and repressive practices of civil marriage that abused women and which were sanctioned by the all-male priesthood.

Clergy preaching that the Bible, in the name of God, defines marriage as between one woman and one man are wrong.  Further, the hostility, self-righteous bigotry and condemnation of gay and lesbian couples that their "priestly"comments enflame are examples of the very same religious bigotry that Jesus challenged 2000 years ago.

What the Bible really teaches is the importance of a loving, committed relationship that liberates the heart and soul from the power of hate, loneliness and despair.

Are we not all entitled to have such a relationship recognized and protected by law? I believe such a relationship is already blessed under heaven.

The Rev. Kenneth Chalker
Senior Pastor of University Circle United Methodist Church in Cleveland, Ohio

(Taken from an article in The Plain Dealer June 9, 2012)

Love Thy Neighbor

When you hear potential leaders of our country disrespecting each other,
When you hear millionaires say that poor people should just get a job,
When you hear them say that people without health care should die,
When they judge some fellow Americans and would deny them the same rights that we all cherish, the same ones that allow us the "pursuit of happiness".
When they claim that abortion is wrong but not funding programs for all the impoverished unwanted children is ok,
When they believe they should decide whether women should have access to contraceptives -

When these people call themselves Christians,
ask yourself what "Love Thy Neighbor" means to you.
Look in your Bible for a list of exceptions to that rule.
You won't find them anywhere.

Family and Gay Americans

Please click on the link to see something beautiful.

Two Lesbians Raised A Baby And This Is What They Got

Hopefully - It Gets Better. . .

These comments are taken directly from a blog called "The Stranger". The facts were published by Lindsey Tainer. The commentary is by Dan Savage.

Suicide attempts by gay teens—and even straight kids—are more common in politically conservative areas where schools don't have programs supporting gay rights, a study involving nearly 32,000 high school students found. Those factors raised the odds and were a substantial influence on suicide attempts even when known risk contributors like depression and being bullied were considered, said study author Mark Hatzenbuehler, a Columbia University psychologist and researcher. His study found a higher rate of suicide attempts even among kids who weren't bullied or depressed when they lived in counties less supportive of gays and with relatively few Democrats. A high proportion of Democrats was a measure used as a proxy for a more liberal environment.
Gay and straight teenagers who live in an areas with more same-sex couples and more registered Democrats, in areas where schools are likelier to have gay-straight student alliances and anti-bullying programs, are less likely to attempt suicide. "Environments that are good for gay youth are also healthy for heterosexual youth," the study's author told the AP.

Anti-Gay Bullying

This article was posted today on a blog called "The Stranger" or "Slog. It was written by Dan Savage. The fact that this story is true - in America or anywhere- is almost beyond belief to me.

Anti-Gay Bullying Persists at School Where Seth Walsh was Bullied to Death - ACLU Demands.

You would think that a school district at the center of a high-profile, bullying-related LGBT suicide would do something about to stop bullying. But you would be wrong.

The American Civil Liberties union today delivered a letter to the Tehachapi Unified School District in Tehachapi California, demanding that the school take steps to combat the anti-gay bullying that cost one Tehachapi student his life and is still making life hell for other LGBT students in the district.

Seth Walsh, a student who endured years of bullying and assault in Tehachapi schools, hanged himself from a plum tree in his family's backyard on September 19. Seth's mother found him. Seth was on life support for nine days and died on September 28. Seth Walsh was thirteen years old. Wendy Walsh contacted the ACLU after her son's death because she wanted to make sure that no other LBGT students would suffer what her son suffered.

"We went down to Tehachapi and talked with Seth's family, with his friends, and with other students," said Elizabath Gill, Staff Attorney for the ACLU's LGBT and AIDS project, "and we found that even after Seth's death the school district had not taken adequate steps to address anti-gay bullying. Some anti-gay bullying posters were put out and one school administrator was scheduled to attend one anti-harassment training session."

Seth, who came out to his parents in the sixth grade, cited the verbal and physical abuse he experienced at Tehachapi schools in the suicide note he left for his family. Seth's mother reported the harassment to school administrators before her son's death - and not only didn't school officials stop the harassment, the ACLU's investigation found, teachers and administrators encouraged and participated in the harassment:

One teacher called Seth "fruity" in front of an entire class. At one point kids were calling him anti-gay names in the hallway at school. A school administrator was right there and heard it all, and turned and walked away without doing anything.

In the course of the investigation the ACLU spoke to LGBT students who are currently enrolled in Tehachapi schools and found that anti-gay bullying - even in the wake of Seth's suicide - remains a pervasive problem in Tehachapi schools.

The ACLU's letter outlines five steps - five simple steps - that the school district can take:
1. Have strong and clear anti-harassment policies and programs.
2. Take all complaints of harassment seriously and properly address them when they happen.
3. Provide ongoing training for students, teachers, school counselors and administrators.
4. Explain the harmful impact of harassment to students and staff.
5. Support Gay-Straight Alliances on campus.

The ACLU is calling on all schools to take the five steps. The ACLU is also calling for the passage of the federal Student Non-Discrimination Act (SDNA) which would add sexual orientation to existing federal laws that ban discrimination against students based on race, color, sex, religion, disability or national origin. The SDNA would also provide LGBT students and their families with legal recourse against schools that promote or tolerate harassment or discriminatory treatment.

This is me now - when will this society wake up to this discrimination? To this violation of civil rights for only one group of our society? Ask yourself - would any 13 year old CHOOSE to live this life, to be harassed, bullied, called names? Would you?