A poem from my new book: Bonfire

Reading from The Volume of Our Incongruity at Loganberry Books in Shaker Heights, Ohio.
This poem was chosen for National Poetry Month for the Cuyahoga County Public Library poem of the day forthcoming this April.  It's about my grown-up children:

Bonfire

I see them together:

the connective tissues, the shared blood,

a counterpoint in firelight—and 

something primal and holy in me turns.

Orange-yellow waves move over their glossy faces

and rotate like pinwheels in their eyes.

Her perfect tight-teeth smile and luminous hair.

His shoulders wide and strong, his great-grandfather’s silhouette.

White sparks sprinkle upward between us.

My diaphragm expands and my ribs crack in this invisible triangle.

I am stretched like early-morning yoga,

depth perception altered in this stasis.

Leaves flutter in the heat, tree frogs sing, dogs chase

each other in and out of deep shadows. His voice,

her laughter brings stillness to my maternal island

and resurrection to what time cannot take from my soul.

by Diane Vogel Ferri

from The Volume of Our Incongruity

Finishing Line Press  2018

Half of Us

Half of Us

Half of us remember the water and air pollution of the 1970’s when streams and lakes were too filthy to swim in, air dangerous to breathe, animals and birds endangered and nearing extinction. The EPA worked for decades to create a healthy, safe environment for Americans.  Half of us now think that a manufacturer has the right to pollute public waterways and air in favor of making more money. Half of us do not care about the health of the next generation—corporations are more valued.

Half of us value public schools that have provided free education to all American children in their neighborhoods.  Half of us want school choice that would drain the resources from public schools and still only provide choice to the lucky ones who have parental advocates and a quality charter school within their neighborhood. This would possibly provide a better education for some, not for all.  Half of us believe we simply need to support and help public schools reach their potential not continue to take from them—then every child will benefit. This also starts with reform for fair and constitutional funding of all public schools.

Half of us say that government should stay out of our lives, but think it’s okay to tell a woman what to do with her body and make decisions that will impact the rest of her life. The other half of us are most likely not in favor of abortion, but understand that we are not in that woman’s shoes and cannot possibly know her circumstances. 

Half of us call ourselves pro-life but are not concerned about the lives of poor unwanted children after birth or that 30 million American children are hungry everyday. Half of us want to take away preventative care, prenatal care, contraception (which prevents unwanted pregnancy) and check-ups for those who have no where else to go, but call themselves pro-life. Babies, children, adults and the elderly—all are alive.

Almost all of us can trace our family history to immigration, yet half of us have decided that all immigrants should be demonized for the actions of a very few. Half of us boldly proclaim our patriotism but deny that freedom of religion applies to every religion, not just our own. 

From 2005 to 2015 there were 24 American deaths from terrorism. In that same decade 280,000 Americans died by gun violence at the hands of other Americans. Even though there are no recorded instances of someone saving others with a gun and there are thousands of instances of innocent bystanders being killed by guns, half of us think gun rights are more important than the right to safety and life.

Half of us are vocal and vigilant about defending the American flag, the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem. Those traditions and ceremonies do not make America great unless they apply to all Americans no matter their race, religion or gender. Discrimination of our fellow Americans is still overwhelmingly present in our society. 

Half of us revere the Constitution yet disparage those exercising their First Amendment rights when we do not agree with their stance.  Peaceful protest has brought about change in this country from Civil Rights to the end of the Viet Nam War to Women’s rights to vote. Freedom of speech and assembly applies to everyone—all the time.

Poverty and Children Continued

The Shocking Facts About America's Children

Marian Wright Edelman recently spoke at the City Club of Cleveland. She is the president and founder of the Children's Defense Fund. Her accomplishments and credentials are too numerous to include here. She spoke on the issue of child poverty in the United States.

"A nation that does not stand for its children does not stand for anything and will not stand tall in the 21st century or before our God."

This so-called great United States of America has the second highest child poverty rate among 35 industrialized nations despite having the largest economy in the world.  Shocking. Shameful.

There are 14.7 million poor children in this country.  This exceeds the population of Ohio and Iowa put together.  An American child has a 1 in 5 chance of being poor.
Six and a half million are in extreme poverty. This exceeds the population of Connecticut and Mississippi put together.

Cleveland and Cuyahoga County:
Over half the children in Cleveland are poor (54%) with 28% considered in extreme poverty.
Twenty-four percent of Cleveland's children were food insecure in 2013.

Poverty has life-long consequences.  The younger the child the poorer he or she is likely to be - this is during the time of crucial brain development.  Growing up poor decreases the likelihood of graduating from high school, and increases the likelihood of having poor health, being poor in adulthood and being  involved in the criminal justice system.  It costs this country dearly everyday.

As Edelman said - these children did not ask to be born, did not choose their parents, their country, state, city, faith or race but in 35 other nation they would be less likely to be poor only ahead of Rumania whose economy is 99% smaller than ours.

"Saving our children is about saving our country. I hope we will begin to counter the fact that too often our politics trumps these policies, moral decency and responsibility for the next generation."

Edelman stated that there are nine programs, already proven successful, that could eradicate at least 60% of child poverty. Her organization has detailed them and shown what they would cost.  The cost would be 77.2 billion dollars as opposed to the $500 billion that poverty costs this country every year.   These programs would include things like basic housing (which would in itself eliminate 2.3 million  children from poverty), food availability for children, early childhood programs, school nurses, and home intervention programs.

(These could easily be paid for if only our leaders would allow it.  If they simply eliminated tax breaks to the rich in America we could save $84 billion.  Congress just voted to repeal the estate tax for the wealthiest 5400 Americans at a cost of $269 billion. They just voted to give the Pentagon $38 billion even though it was not asked for.)

WHY can't our government do what's right?  Why wouldn't they want to eliminate our citizen's suffering? Why wouldn't they want to improve children's futures? Why wouldn't they want to actually save money by spending some on the poor?  Why wouldn't they want to reduce the billions of dollars spent on mass incarceration in our country?

The answer is moral judgement.  What other reason could it be?  They are against "hand-outs". They want people to pull them up by their bootstraps - but children don't have bootstraps - they are victims. And what poverty does to children will simply be passed down to their children. Poor health, poor education, prone to crime.

And moral judgment includes that those who have comfy lives think they deserve it. They've earned it. They do not recognize the advantages they started out with because they do not want to admit that they could have been born into poverty as well, but were simply fortunate not to be.  They do not want to share what they have. It is greed. It is entitlement. It is discriminatory.

You may not believe in helping poor people that, in your judgement, have no reason to be - but children don't have those choices.  Yet, they are the future of America.

When the Music

This is the poem I wrote for my daughter on her wedding day. You have to know Kate and Matt to appreciate it but I wanted to share it with all.

When the Music

For Kate and Matt 

on their wedding day

July 6, 2013

The chords of hopeful love and harmony

stretched from east coast to west

through fashion and history

unbroken by time or space 

when the music was a silent prayer

Dissonance and alternate soundscapes

pulled to meet somewhere in the desert

near fountains and night lights

unexpected fusion and gold dust  

when the music was unrehearsed and new

An intermezzo of sweet communion

an offbeat meeting of body and soul

and all the world stopped

the fifteen year wait was over 

when the music was a precious thing

Songs they had never sung

they now sang for each other

rhythmic, soul-wise, tattooed on their hearts

in the velvet underground that only two share 

when the music was suspended rock and roll

Today God is in their redemption song

now it is sealed, it is beautiful

let them sing and dance in these song-gifts

with a melody only they can hear

and the music goes on forever.....

Diane Vogel Ferri

Public School Teachers

There is a teacher's strike going on in the greater Cleveland area. Strikes are terribly damaging to both sides and personally I do not think I would ever vote to strike. I have seen both sides. I do know that it always a last resort and I understand the union's need to retain their power lest working conditions deteriorate and effect student learning. I also understand the need to work with a contract and not be taken advantage of.

Thinking about this made me want to share what it was like in the elementary school building that I teach in this week.

This week grades and report cards were due. Report cards can take hours and hours for a classroom teacher with 25 students. We have one 45 minute planning time each day but at least once a week it is reserved for a grade level meeting. This week teachers started to give up two lunch or planning periods a week to tutor students in math for the all-important Ohio Achievement Assessment.  This will continue until the end of April.  It is voluntary but everyone volunteers because it is good for kids. Just like the entire district agreed to a longer instructional day without one dissent - because we care about the kids.

This week some teachers were required to be at school in the evening for a concert, many are at an all weekend IB training on the west side. These do not all apply to me but I did have extra special ed duties this week that took up several class periods.  This Wednesday we will all work a 13 hour day to accommodate conferences.

Most days I open my email in the morning with trepidation because I know there will 2-3 more things I am required to do that day or that week that I previously knew nothing about.

We are required to go to multiple trainings each year. Yes, they are part of the work day, but anyone who is a teacher knows how much extra effort it requires to prepare for substitutes (and then usually you have to teach it again anyway).

Am I complaining? No! No one I know complains. It's our job. It's also our job to deal with children who come to school hungry, angry, filthy, unmedicated and out-of-control, and deal with parents like the one this week - when told his children weren't doing their homework - yelled at the teacher that it is her job to teach them, not his.

There are days I come home exhausted, discouraged and sometimes defeated because it is not an easy job.  You can't stop caring because they are children.

Oh, and we also lost an hour this week  .......I'm just saying.

Pie Jesu

Oh sweet Lord
untwist the harsh days of this world
and usher us into pure joy.
We are on our way to sleep,
wrapped in your infinite love.
Now, let the sky close
on all pain, and gift us
with our unearned requiem,
grant us everlasting rest.
Pie Jesu Domine, dona eis requiem

Umoja

I wrote this poem years ago after reading a newspaper article on Umoja.  PBS just ran a two-night show called Half of the Sky about women in third world countries.  And I saw Rebecca and Umoja in the show!  It is from my chapbook "Liquid Rubies".

Umoja

Sitting cross-legged on a sisal mat, 

thatched roof and the equator sun above,

Rebecca holds the 13-year-old girl’s hand 

You don’t have to marry that old man 

even if he is my brother.

Rebecca goes house to house

You don’t have to have sex with a man

that beats you, exposes you to HIV,

a husband with other wives.

Shamed by rape then abandoned

Rebecca’s women grow a circle of mud 

and dung huts in parched and barren grassland

and call it Umoja, in Swahili, unity.

A sanctuary for Sarah’s little girl body

from bearing a child that would have shredded

her insides, causing her to leak, to smell,

to be shunned into a beggar’s existence.

No men live in Umoja,

a haven for Mary from circumcision,

mutilated gentials that would have forever 

brought pain and denied pleasure.

In Umoja, children go to school for the first time, 

women work in the cultural center

inviting tourists into the beauty of Kenya,

selling red and white Samburu beaded necklaces.

Rebecca ignores spiteful men setting up

their own village, spying, failing to imitate

Umoja’s success but hiring the men to haul firewood 

as women change the rhythm, the power of a village.

Rebecca throws back her brown cloud of hair, 

laughs at stone throwing and death threats 

as she boards a plane to a world conference on

gender empowerment an ocean away.

If you remain silent no one thinks you have anything to say.

COEXIST XXXV - My Worldview Part 3

(See last two posts)

Education - The government response to education is often punitive instead of supportive. Firing teachers and starting business-run schools is not an answer to better education. I believe in quality education for all American children, not just those fortunate enough to live in a prosperous school district or those lucky few who get into a charter school. School choice is not the answer because it only helps some children and siphons money away from public schools. How is that improving American education?  Do we really support the demise of our public school system?
The government should leave education to the educators and support all schools, not use money for trendy experiments. It has been proven that government mandates, especially "No Child Left Behind" have all been colossal failures, but the government is never blamed, just teachers.

Teacher's Unions -  In my 30+ years of experience I have found teachers and teacher's unions to be overwhelmingly in favor of whatever is good for kids. We take pride in our jobs and our job is to educate and nurture children.  My district recently proposed a longer school day and it was unanimously approved - no extra pay - in fact, we are on a pay freeze, which no one opposed either. Schools run efficiently, in part, because of union negotiations for class size, discipline policies, support for troubled and disabled children - and the list goes on and on.

Prayer in School - I don't get it. How can you stop someone from praying? If the issue is that everyone needs to do it that's not very respectful to those who choose not to, is it?  (See Romans 14) Religious freedom is for everyone, not just Christians. I see groups on social media post things about children not being allowed to say the Pledge of Allegiance anymore, but it's not true - my school building does it every day. Don't make people angry for nothing - and if you want to pray - go ahead. The insistence that everyone believe the same thing is not American or Christian to me.

Evolution vs. Creationism - This is a no-brainer to me. I believe in both. If God created the earth and all that is in it - and called it good - then he created the laws of science as well. If we believe that God created human beings why do we need to agree on exactly how it happened? When I learned evolution in school it had no effect on my faith.

Black Dress

The black dress had a singular sound and feel,
the Audrey Hepburn dress, the clerk said, and it was sold.

A wide décolleté draped with a wavy collar framed my cleavage.
It wrapped around my ribcage like a baby's swaddling

pulled me in tight and feminine, the swishing skirt flared
to my calves with the urgency to twirl.

The rhinestones on the cuffs and swinging from my earlobes
matched the ones on my shoes and around my neck.

I opened my handbag to check on the two cotton handkerchiefs
I had been given, then I momentarily put my carefully made-up face

in my hands, but caught the tears before they marred my visage.
I moved down the aisle in a happy trance and sat down

to watch my son begin the life I had always dreamed for him.

Teachers and Classroom Realities

In a completely rational society, the best of us would be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something less, because passing civilization along from one generation to the next ought to be the highest honor, the highest responsibility anyone could have.
Lee Iococca

In a recent Plain Dealer article by Mark Naymik it was refreshing to not detect any agenda or opinion - just the realities of Cleveland school teachers. It mentioned that tardiness is a real problem. One reason is students as young as 13 years old are often in charge of younger siblings. Students show up hungry, distracted by a difficult home situation or event over the weekend. Some are not clean and draw ridicule.

Instead of complaining about things they cannot control, or blaming students for their difficulties, teachers said it was a testament to their character that these youngsters could show up to school every day. They face challenges that most suburban children never face.

When a teacher is angrily told to F--- off, instead of punishing the students teachers often reach out to that child, especially younger ones, to see what is troubling them. One teacher said they try to replace the angry behavior with something else. Although it would be easy to say this is the parents' responsibility, the fact is, when it enters the classroom, it is the teacher's problem.

And teachers DO buy many school supplies for needy students or things the school district no longer can afford.  If there are computers or Smart Boards in the classroom they are there because resourceful teachers wrote grants or raised money for them.

Teachers recognize that, no matter how difficult student behavior may be, school is the only safe place for many children. Teachers are like their family.

Personally, I am often greeted by hugs from younger children who seem to be longing for affection and validation.

The article ended - "Such a dynamic is hard to evaluate and categorize in contracts and through legislation."

I often hear that the answer to failing schools is to fire teachers - maybe they should be supported instead.

Laura Ingalls Wilder

Today is the birthday of writer Laura Ingalls Wilder, born just north of Pepin, Wisconsin in 1867, author of the wildly popular children's book Little House on the Prairie (1935)and other books about growing up in the Midwest in the 1800's. They are all part of the Little House series, which she began writing in her 60's. THAT gives me hope! Since her death about a hundred different titles have appeared in the Little House series that she created. From her books have come a wonderful television series on NBC (1974-1984) - in my opinion, one of the BEST shows ever on television. Also, a 26 episode animated Japanese cartoon series called "Laura, The Prairie Girl", a couple of made-for-TV movies, an ABC mini-series (2005) and a musical.

All of her books have remained in print continuously since the time they were first published, have been widely translated, and have sold millions of copies. Little House in the Big Woods begins, "Once upon a time, sixty years ago, a little girl lived in the Big Woods of Wisconsin, in a little gray house made of logs."

Those words must have captured me because, although I don't have too many specific memories of elementary school, I clearly remember reading the first book and anxiously anticipating library day so I could check out the next one. I read all of them in succession and loved every one.

The TV series came on when I was almost an adult,so my fondest memories are of watching the shows in syndication years later with my own children. I think my daughter saw all 10 years of the series multiple times. I loved it because each episode taught a wholesome, loving lesson about how to treat each other, knowing wrong from right and the importance of always doing the right thing. I believe the show had a positive impact on my children and for that I honor Laura Ingalls Wilder today.

A Beautiful Mother's Day Gift

I had my first canary, Oliver, for 11 years and my second one, Sunny, for 8 years. Sunny died about a year ago and I have missed him ever since. I just didn't get around to fnding another canary - and apparently they are hard to find these days as well as pricy! Sunny didn't sing for his last several years, which I assumed was a result of old age. Then, a couple months before he died he sang again, but not with the gusto of earlier years. It was, of course, his "swan song."

The Friday before Mother's Day my daughter called and said she was coming over. She handed me a little cardboard box with holes in it and inside was the cutest little yellow and brown canary. I didn't know they came with colors other than yellow! I loved his markings and his personality immediately. He very comfortably hopped into the cage and almost immediately started chirping and singing - LOUDLY! He never stopped moving or singing, so by the next day I had an appropriate name for him - ROWDY!

This is not a very clear picture of ROWDY because he never stops moving! He is a joy. Somehow you cannot be blue with a canary singing it's heart out in your presense.

Thank you to my thoughtful, wonderful daughter.

For My Daughter on Her Birthday

When You Came

When you came
the leaves and lilacs came too

while we were gone in that secret place
the world went on

when you came
we were apprentices together

you brought forgiveness
and redemption for idle days

you brought love where
it had not existed before

when you came
I saw the world

as God made it
in your eyes

and I will never forget
the day you came

Hopefully - It Gets Better. . .

These comments are taken directly from a blog called "The Stranger". The facts were published by Lindsey Tainer. The commentary is by Dan Savage.

Suicide attempts by gay teens—and even straight kids—are more common in politically conservative areas where schools don't have programs supporting gay rights, a study involving nearly 32,000 high school students found. Those factors raised the odds and were a substantial influence on suicide attempts even when known risk contributors like depression and being bullied were considered, said study author Mark Hatzenbuehler, a Columbia University psychologist and researcher. His study found a higher rate of suicide attempts even among kids who weren't bullied or depressed when they lived in counties less supportive of gays and with relatively few Democrats. A high proportion of Democrats was a measure used as a proxy for a more liberal environment.
Gay and straight teenagers who live in an areas with more same-sex couples and more registered Democrats, in areas where schools are likelier to have gay-straight student alliances and anti-bullying programs, are less likely to attempt suicide. "Environments that are good for gay youth are also healthy for heterosexual youth," the study's author told the AP.

My Grief Observed

I may not be able to write of anything but the grief process for awhile. I hope you don't mind and will bear with me. I hope you may be enlightened in some way. It turns out that grief is an all-consuming experience. One may return to work and smile, go to the grocery store and turn on the television again - but nothing much seems to matter. Life has been put in a stark and revealing perspective.

It has been a profound learning experience. I now know that when a friend loses a parent or sibling they are not all right just because they seem all right. After the funeral home visitation, the cards, the hugs, the funeral itself - there is a whole new life to consider. Something that may have been a singular part of you for all your life or for decades is a void now. You still need to talk, to relive the experience in order to accept it. You still need hugs.

I will now pay more attention to friends in the midst of this experience. I will not stop calling or visiting or bringing food when the funeral is over. I will continue to lift them up in sincere prayer because I have experienced the incomprehensible and indescribable sensation of being prayed for. It does not dry the tears. It does not take away the pain. But it gives an undergirding of hope and strength when you thought you were weak.

Those are my thoughts today. The only other thing on my mind seems to be all the people I would like to thank for their kindness. I will get to that soon. Otherwise, as I said, nothing else seems to matter much right now except loving my husband, who has lost more than anyone ever should.

"A Christmas Story" House

Cleveland's Tremont area is home to the house they filmed 1983's "A Christmas Story". Last time I went it was closed and I got exterior shots of the house. This time it was bustling with fans from all over the country. If you have never seen this classic tale of a childhood Christmas, tune in to TBS on Christmas Eve - it runs for 24 hours. You will see Cleveland's Public Square circa 1939 and get a child's viewpoint of Christmas. The house was mostly used to film exteriors and the rest was filmed in Toronto. If you live near Cleveland it is located at 3159 West 11th St.There is also a museum where you can see original clothing worn by the children, the original leg lamp and much more. Here are some photos I took today:

Bullying

There has been a lot of press about bullying lately. Children in school are bullied to the point of despair - especially gay children. We have all read the stories. A local high school has had four suicides recently. Children and teenagers don't have enough perspective on life to realize that it can ever get better, or that life will go on after high school.

Where do children learn to hate those who are different? If you watch very young children at play they rarely even notice differences in each other. It is learned somewhere. There are churches that profess to be Christian - which means they follow the teachings of Jesus - who preach that gay people are evil, sinful, unworthy. Jesus certainly never taught that, but if there are children in that church, what message have they received? We all know that Jesus taught us to love each other, and our enemies. In Matthew 22:5 he says, "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subjected to judgment."

If those children hear political discussions at home against gay marriage they have received the message that there are people out there who are less valuable than they are - otherwise why would they not be deserving of the same rights?

Dan Savage is a popular writer, columnist and blogger. He is gay and has started a campaign called, "It gets better". Many Hollywood stars have come on board with messages to gay teens that life does get better. His column this week (you can read it in Scene magazine) included a letter from a professing Christian who disagreed with Dan's previous thoughts on how many Christians encourage bullying by their beliefs.

He wrote,"The kids of people who see gay people as sinful or damaged or disordered and unworthy of full civil equality learn to see gay people as sinful, damaged and disordered and unworthy. And while there may not be any gay adults or couples where you live, I promise you that there are gay and lesbian children in your schools. And while you can only attack at the ballot box, your children have the option of attacking actual gays and lesbians, in person, in real time.

Real gay and lesbian children. Not political abstractions, not "sinners". Gay and lesbian children."

A final point: What do you call politians who waste millions of dollars of advertising by name-calling, mud-slinging, outright lies and half-truths against their opponents. I call them BULLIES. When will we reject this type of advertising? Why is anyone sponsoring it? Personally I am insulted every time I see one because these ads assume that we are gullible and stupid if they think we would blindly accept their ridiculous accusations. I am in favor of outlawing ads that mention the opposing candidates and only refer to what that person intends to do if elected. But, of course, that will never happen, because this is America and we love free speech. I don't believe ANY of them anymore. But children are looking and listening. These so-called public servants are teaching them how to be bullies.

Better

These are the lyrics to the song my son and I danced to at his wedding. I had played the song for him years ago and he remembered and chose it for our special moment - and it was perfect.

by Toby Lightman

He'll be enough to make you cry
He'll be enough to open your eyes
to all the little things that make this world better.
He'll give you love you never knew.
He'll give his heart only to you
and he'll make your life better.

So when he comes to you in the middle of the night
cause he's scared to be alone in the dark
you'll tell him everything is gonna be alright
'cause I will be your light, I will be your night
I will be that star in the sky who watches over you.

You'll tell him everything you know.
You'll tell him - oh, the places you'll go
so you can be a good man and make this world better.
You'll give him all the love you have
even when he makes you so mad,
keep in mind that he made your life better.

So when he comes to you and he's so confused
because he wants to give his heart to another,
you'll tell him everything is gonna be just fine.

And when the years are going by too fast
and he's growing up to be big and strong,
know his love for you will last,
even when he doesn't say it to your face
even when you have to put him in his place,
know that he's a love that nothing in this
world can ever replace.

Turnings

This is the poem I wrote for my son's wedding.

They started in the last season of childhood;
she in a red dress, he in a white suit,
a lovely Mexican flower, a boy with drumming passion.
The spring sun enveloped them in its light and warmth;
a harbinger before the changes, before the growing,
in a sacred turning only God understands.

Now, in this summer of committment they have brought
unguarded hearts, burgeoning dreams,
and Providence has arrived.
Surrounded by fragile hopes and tender mercies
the thread between heaven and earth is spliced into
this moment, tethered to the cradle of a united life.

In the sweet shelter of autumn, some days
will be hungrier than others, and on those days,
burrowing into their home, folding into each other,
they will lift up their eyes, palms raised and open,
and weave themselves together like a bountiful basket
as if they could hold love in their arms.

The winter solstice has not yet come,
but when it does they will not be alone.
Traveling through wind and snow, coming home to love,
they have found something as never-ending as the seasons,
for brought to each new awakening is the
fellowship in mere living, the survival of being loved.