Wednesday, March 9, 2011

My Grief Observed

I may not be able to write of anything but the grief process for awhile. I hope you don't mind and will bear with me. I hope you may be enlightened in some way. It turns out that grief is an all-consuming experience. One may return to work and smile, go to the grocery store and turn on the television again - but nothing much seems to matter. Life has been put in a stark and revealing perspective.

It has been a profound learning experience. I now know that when a friend loses a parent or sibling they are not all right just because they seem all right. After the funeral home visitation, the cards, the hugs, the funeral itself - there is a whole new life to consider. Something that may have been a singular part of you for all your life or for decades is a void now. You still need to talk, to relive the experience in order to accept it. You still need hugs.

I will now pay more attention to friends in the midst of this experience. I will not stop calling or visiting or bringing food when the funeral is over. I will continue to lift them up in sincere prayer because I have experienced the incomprehensible and indescribable sensation of being prayed for. It does not dry the tears. It does not take away the pain. But it gives an undergirding of hope and strength when you thought you were weak.

Those are my thoughts today. The only other thing on my mind seems to be all the people I would like to thank for their kindness. I will get to that soon. Otherwise, as I said, nothing else seems to matter much right now except loving my husband, who has lost more than anyone ever should.

7 comments:

Kathiesbirds said...

{{Hugs}} and prayers.

Miss Sadie said...

Hang in there, Diane; keep feeling your feelings and telling your story. Stay in the present; stay as focused as you can. You and your husband will survive.

Cheryl said...

I'm so sorry for your grief. I know it's coming my way with my parents. I know there's nothing I can do to prepare.

Heart said...
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Lena said...

You keep writing and I will keep reading. It is OK. It is important to have a place to share your grief.

I feel for you and your husband and your children. I can only imagine what you are going through.

Carol said...

I am new to your blog and feel very sorry for your loss.

Pat Washington said...

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."
Deut. 33:27.

Praying comfort in the midst of your grief.