Quotes for the Last Day of August

Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much of life. So aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.
Henry David Thoreau
1817-1862

Where is the life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
T.S. Eliot
1888-1965

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
William James
1842-1910

Yoga

Well, today is my last day of summer. It has been wonderful and I will be returning to teaching on Monday. Every summer I fill with writing, seeing friends and family and doing household projects. This summer I added yoga. I have done yoga poses and positions, or asanas, for over 30 years. But this summer I learned the "practice" of yoga by attending classes 2-3 times a week. Each class is an hour and 15 minutes (and some of them kicked my butt!) Through the classes and all the wonderful teachers I learned the real meaning of yoga practice - but I am still a beginner. I see the value of classes because there are too many distractions at home.

Yoga is the state of union between two opposites - body and mind. Between individual consciousness and universal consciousness. It is a process of uniting the opposing forces in the body and mind in order to achieve supreme awareness and enlightenment.

As you go through the various asanas you are guided by the instructor in your thoughts as well as what your body is feeling. You become aware of every unique part of your body and each muscle's job. You find your mind clearing of all the worldly crap that may be taking up space there. At the end of the class there is always a time of mouna - or the practice of silence, when you can fully experience the relaxing effects of the past hour. You leave feeling strong and whole and united in mind and body. I will miss the mouna - the silence, the most when I return to the elementary school next week. But I will make an effort to continue my classes and practice as much as possible because I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of yoga this summer.

This is what the teacher said yesterday: You are a vibrant expression of infinite intelligence. :)

This Grand Show

This grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never dried all at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal dawn and gloaming; on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls.
John Muir
naturalist, explorer, writer 1838-1914


Photo of sunrise on the Carribean July 2011

Good Books

One of the wonderful things about summer for a teacher is the time to read. Somehow a good book is even more appealing while sitting on the deck (or beach) with a nice glass of wine or a cool iced tea.

I read four excellent books this summer and I want to share them with you.

Cutting For Stone by Abraham Verghese. I love books that are sagas, that span a long period of time. This story starts out in Ethiopia with the tragic and compelling birth of conjoined twins, brothers who are separated at birth while their mother, a nun, dies in childbirth. Their father, a doctor, witnesses her death and abandons his boys to an Indian doctor, who raises them as her own. It continues for the next 25 years of their lives, through loss and betrayal, but with an almost mystical bond that the boys have. They both become physicians and one ends up in New York City. The book has an unexpected and shocking ending. Well worth the read.

American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I never thought I'd read a Neil Gaiman book. He is most well-known for writing a type of fantasy and the Sandman graphic novels. Not my thing, but curiosity got the best of me. Even as I was reading the epic American Gods I was shocked that I was loving it. I chose the 10th anniversary issue which advertised "author's preferred text". I just discovered that it contained 12,000 extra words from the original! I cannot even describe this book to you so I am giving you the Wikipedia description:
"The novel is a blend of American, fantasy and various strands of ancient and modern mythology, all centered on a mysterious and taciturn protagonist, Shadow."
Gaiman is from England and now lives in America. This is his take on what makes America spin.

State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. If I could write like anyone I might choose to be Ann Patchett. She is also the author of Bel Canto and The Patron Saint of Liars. Her books are wildly diverse in their topics. State of Wonder takes an American research scientist into the jungles of Brazil to check on the progress of an elusive scientist for a pharmaceutical company. She is also sent to discover what happened to a coworker who was reported dead. There, she becomes enveloped in the Amazonian tribe and their ways of living. It's a fascinating look into a world most of us know nothing about. Also, has quite a cool ending.

Life by Keith Richards. I can't really call myself a Rolling Stones fan let alone a Keith Richards fan, but I love autobiographies if they are well written and take you on journey into the person's life - and this one does that. He writes in a charming way. I particularly enjoy discovering how famous or successful people came to do what they have done, and this one is no exception. I did learn more about recreational drugs than I eve needed to know, but it was still a great read.

If you read, or have read any of these I'd love to read your comments. and of course, my own book The Desire Path is still available if you're looking for a good book:))

What is Not Expressed

This is an excerpt from a book called "The Book Of Awakening" by Mark Nepo. It is a book of inspirational essays for every day of the year. My poem, "Unopened" (see below) is about my confusion at sometimes feeling rejected and even disrespected for the ways that I am compelled to express myself. I have experienced the desire for self-expression to be a blessing and a curse. People react with anything from encouragement and support to indifference and bitterness. I am always taken aback by the range of reactions since I consider what I share with the world from my heart and soul - with no other agenda but to do what God has given me to do.

One of my favorite quotes is from Stephen King, who says - "If God gives you something to do, why in the world wouldn't you do it?"
Another is from Mark Twain:
"Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you can become great."

A recent discouraging experience was in extreme contrast to my friend, Gail, who is a writer and poet, who took the time the other day to call me just to encourage me to continue promoting my new book. She had put a great deal of thought into ways that I could market it and assured me that she found the book worth every bit of effort I could give it. Amazing generosity.

What is Not Expressed
It seems the more we express, that is, bring out what is in, the more alive we are. The more we give voice to our pain in living, the less build-up we have between our soul and our way in the world. However, the more we depress, the more we push down and keep in , the smaller we become. The more we stuff between our heart and our daily experience, the more we have to work through to feel life directly. Our expressed life can become a callus we carry around and manicure, but never remove. Experience can in effect lose its essential tenderness and poignancy, as we mistakenly conclude that life is losing its meaning. To a man unaware of the cataracts filming his eyes, the world seems dimmer, not his seeing. How often do we find the world less stimulating, unaware our heart is diminished because its encasement in all that remains unexpressed?

My New Heroine

Dame Helen Mirren, 66 years old, was recently voted "Best Bod" by a fitness magazine. This is what she recently said to Women and Home magazine.
"My big complaint is, why aren't more dresses made with sleeves? I don't want to wear a frumpy jacket over a sleeveless dress, and it enrages me that it's so difficult to find anything beautiful with sleeves. If you think of Elizabethan dresses or turn-of-the-century fashions, there are some amazing things you can do with sleeves, so why do so few designers put them on dresses?"

My sentiments EXACTLY! Thank you Helen. I hope someone listens.

So Sad - The End of Our Bookstores?

All I have heard is people expressing sadness over the closing of Borders. I feel the same way. Not just because it seems to be a frightening end of an era for all of us baby-boomers, but because I have personal feelings about our Borders as well.

There is a Borders right around the corner from my house. My husband and I went through some difficult years, in part, because we were restricted in where we could go and how long we could stay away from the house. Borders became a haven for us. It was sort of like our date night during the week where we could browse in the relative quiet with a coffee or a chai tea latte ( I never got over them changing my favorite chai tea to something much less tasty). We'd go our separate ways but end up back in the cafe sharing what we'd found on our journeys through the store. There was always something new to see. For a while my writer's group met there in the cafe as well. It just seemed like a natural place for writers to meet.

I completely understand the prominence and importance of electronic media. I have no problem with people who are enamored of their Kindles or Nooks. I think shopping on Amazon is fine if you know exactly what book you're looking for. But browse the Internet for a good book? I don't think so.

How many times has the cover or title of a book caught your eye? Then what did you do? You picked the book up, maybe read the cover, flipped through, felt it in your hands, noticed how many pages it had. Then maybe you put it back on the shelf - only to come back later when you realized you wanted to read it.

I can't imagine how many books I would NOT have read if I hadn't been able to peruse them in the book store. That is being taken away from us now.

The only bright spot I can see in the closing of so many "big box" bookstores is a reverse in the dwindling number of independent book stores. Did you ever see the movie - "You've Got Mail"? Your heart breaks when Meg Ryan has to close her mother's children's book store in the middle of New York City because she has been run out of business. Now the independent stores that have somehow survived those years I think will begin to thrive because book-lovers love looking at and holding real books. I think this is true for my generation and my children's generation as well.

When my daughter was a young girl she was in love with "The Babysitter's Club" books. It was an anticipated event to get to the bookstore on the day the new one came out to buy it. I had little money then, but nothing made me happier than buying a book for her that I knew she would read and enjoy. We would arrive at home and she would immediately crawl into her bed and start reading. How would that have compared to ordering it on the web for a 9 year-old?

I'm not sure what will become of actual physical books once the children born in this millennium grow up. All I know is that all three times I have opened a box and pulled out a book that I wrote and held it in my hands, I cried. Writing those books would have never felt complete without seeing it in someone's hands - or seeing it on my bookshelf.

Our Mexico Vacation

Last week I was fortunate to spend my days on the beach in Mexico. My husband and I have had two close family deaths in the past 6 months and we used the week to just BE together - in peaceful respite. Somehow the beauty of the Caribbean Sea, the sound of the relentless waves and the opportunity to leave the world behind for a few days was healing. I did not see a computer screen for 6 days and did not miss it at all, but I am happy to share a few photos from our week.

This was the view from our room.



I loved exploring the tidepools and finding all kinds of creatures - thousands of sea snails clustered together in their colonies.



The water is perfectly clear and full of lovely (and friendly) iridescent blue/silver fish as well as some yellow and black striped ones that would circle around me, presumably looking for food.


We arose early on our last day to watch the sun rise on the Caribbean Sea.

PS - I am unsure about the spelling of Carribean - Caribbean. The dictionary has the latter, but it was spelled with two R's in this morning's paper. I'm a spelling nut.

Post Secrets part 2

On May 1st I shared some entries from a book called "Post Secrets - Confessions on Life, Death and God." They are real secrets that are mailed anonymously to a man named Frank Warren and he compiles them into books. They come from all types of people from all over the world. Here are some more:(a little more light-hearted)

I'm an artist. Sometimes I give my pottery and painting to Goodwill in hopes that someone will fall in love with them.

When another woman steals your man the best revenge is to let her keep him!

My dad is my hero. He's dedicated his life to God and his faith, and made me a better person, So if there isn't a heaven I WILL kick some ASS.

I'm starting rabbinical school and I love BACON!

Seeing happy families doesn't make me sad anymore now that I've joined yours.

If my dog were human I think he would look like Brad Pitt.

Sometimes I text the "wrong" person..on purpose, just to start a conversation.

When I cook alone I always pretend I'm cooking for the Food Network.. audience and all.

I had an entire fake conversation on my cell phone so that I could brag about my kids to the snotty neighbor who I know was listening through the fence.

I make purposeful eye contact with men as they leave the "adult film" video store. I find it amusing. They don't.

I hate my living room couch so I let my dogs pee on it to force my husband into buying a new one.

What's Your Idea of Heaven?

I recently read Keith Richards' memoir called "Life". I didn't read it because I was ever that much of a fan of the Rolling Stones, but I love to read about how people came to be who they are and do what they do. Always fascinating to me. Well, in this particular book I learned more about drugs than I ever needed to know and I do wonder how this man is still alive. It seems all successful groups break up at one point because of personality conflicts and usually one member tries to take over and be the star. (I just saw the musical "Jersey Boys" the other night. It's the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons - many similarities. And what a great, entertaining show - I highly recommend it!)

I digress. There was one passage in Keith Richards' book that I found interesting. At no point did he profess to have a faith, but apparently he married into a religious family and therefore has had to do some reflection. This is what he wrote about heaven. Since none of us really have a clue about it this might be as good an explanation as any other. I kinda liked it.

"I've never found heaven, for example, a particularly interesting place to go. In fact, I take the view that God, in his infinite wisdom, didn't bother to spring for two joints - heaven and hell. They're the same place, but heaven is when you get everything you want and you meet Mummy and Daddy and your best friends and you all have a hug and a kiss and play your harps. Hell is the same place - no fire and brimstone - but they just all pass by and don't see you. There's nothing. No recognition. You're waving, "It's me, your father," but you're invisible. You're on a cloud, you've got your harp, but you can't play with nobody because they don't see you. That's hell."

The reason that makes sense to me is because A) I don't believe that my God is a punishing God. He made us, He loves us. B) I believe we are on this earth to learn to love each other and to love God. Period. That's what I believe. And if we did not take the chance to love those around us, if we ignored the presence of God all the days of our lives then maybe we deserve to just be alone. And that, indeed, would be hell.

Battery Life

by Dane Zito

(This was written by a high school senior and friend of my late step-son Louie, who passed away in February at the age of 27 from muscular dystrophy. We have all been touched by his maturity, writing talent and profound compassion. He gave me permission to share this with you.)

The sun illuminated the landscape ahead as we approached
the neighborhood lake, your wheelchair bulldozed
the blades of grass.The wooden bench comforted me,
the branches above protecting us,but your body
still becoming weaker. Yet, you always made me laugh.
The battery on your wheelchair glowed green; full power.


The clouds cart wheeled in front of the sun, the air
becoming colder,as you grew old. Your brittle fingers
struggled to text as we sat staring at the water.
We observed our friends swim and play but I always chose
to stay with you. The eye of the birds stared at us,
as if they were listening to us talk. The battery meter
on your wheelchair flashed yellow, losing power.

The sun battled the clouds, the rays narrowed through the sky,
the grass accepting the light the sun provided. You were hungry
so I fed you,cutting your food into bite size pieces you could
manage to eat. The straw pressed to your lips,
the liquid washing down your throat.The battery meter
on your wheelchair flickered orange, power halfway gone.

The sun jumped behind the lake sliding down the sky,
painting the sky red. Darkness nearly won but you kept fighting.
You had no energy to do anything but I would still see you.
The Xbox controller exploded when it hit the ground but I helped
you placing it back in your hands. The battery meter
on your wheelchair has now turned to red, low power.

Darkness painted the sky, the sun disappearing,
the clouds choking any light that was left. I cried.
My palms crushed my face not knowing what to do.
I miss you already, and now I understand what it is like to
be alone. We no longer could see the lake.
The battery meter on your wheelchair shows no color, no power.

July 4th 2011

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. ~Erma Bombeck


This, then, is the state of the union: free and restless, growing and full of hope. So it was in the beginning. So it shall always be, while God is willing, and we are strong enough to keep the faith. ~Lyndon B. Johnson


There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. ~William J. Clinton

That Wednesday

That Wednesday

will mark all other Wednesdays.
That prosaic middle day

between our past
and all the days to come.

The exigency of the living carried on
while we were enveloped in

the sudden beauty and stink of the lilies,
in baskets and baskets of sorrow.

Now we speak to him in the day,
at night, in his room of earthly things.

We speak softly to each other
until we lose our words,

until there is nothing left
unfinished between us.

We wonder about his unexpected journey
to a place we do not understand.

A Coexist Update and a Breath of Fresh Air!

A couple posts ago I wrote about the Greater Cleveland Congregations. More than 40 religious congregations showed up for the first meeting - Jews, Muslims,Evangelicals, Protestants, Unitarians (and only one Catholic representation due to the Bishop's non-support of the GCC.)

After a year of clergy meetings and brainstorming sessions with congregants the GCC announced it's five-prong agenda.

"We intend to organize, and campaign for good jobs, acccessible and affordable health care, safe and productive schools for our children, fair and equal treament in our criminal justice system, and sustainable and healthy food." said the Rev. Tracey Lind.

Connie Schultz reported in the Plain Dealer that "Greater Cleveland Congregations, like any interfaith group has a lot of work ahead, starting with its budget. The religious organizations contributed half of the $250,000 goal. The rest must come from foundations and private donations unless more religious organizations step up. That invitation remains open."

I hope I will have more news of this initiative in the future. A true example of COEXISTING!

And now for a breath of fresh air:

Yesterday former Utah governor John Huntsman announced his candidacy for President of the United States. In his speech he made it clear that he won't "run down" his rivals for the GOP nomination - or the president. He decried the "corrosive" 21st century politics and said, "I respect the President of the United States. He and I have a difference of opinion on how to help a country we both love. But the question each of us wants the voters to answer is who will be the better president, not who is the better American."

What? Did I hear ( and read) this right? Someone who intends to campaign on his own opinions, ideas and strengths without belittling, insulting and sarcasm? Not only coexisting in a campaign - but a true breath of fresh air! One I will be willing to listen to no matter what his political party. We will soon see if he can keep THIS campaign promise.

Father's Day

Daddy's Girl
(originally published in "The Storyteller")

You will never again trust
as you did

when Daddy was twice your size,
his arms the greatest you knew,

they could straighten your baton
or chop down a tree in the front yard.

He won every game
and you were his best partner.

Driving in the Fourth of July storm
your dread of lightning and thunder

abated with Daddy's hands
on the wheel,

fearless, you traveld the country
with the deepest knowledge

that Daddy
would bring you safely home.

He never told you he'd give his life
for you, you were born knowing.

You never felt doubt until the day
he held your hands and then let them go.

Coexist XXXII - Working Together for Social Justice

Nearly 40 synagogues, churches and mosques have joined in coalition to form Greater Cleveland Congregations in an effort to work together to build power for social justice. GCC will unite people across lines of race, class, religion and geography to promote public, private and civic-sector actions in the belief that it will strengthen and improve the quality of life of Cleveland's neighborhoods.

Some of their goals are to work for good jobs, accessibility to health care, safe and productive schools for children, just and fair treatment in the courts, prisons and re-entry programs, alleviate hunger and improve the environment.

Reverend Jawanza Colvin and Rabbi Robert Nosanchuk stated in a recent PLain Dealer article that "we pledge to fulfill what our faiths envision as the result of such unity;honest and civil discourse on issues that trouble us most and a promotion of solutions that produce improvement in quality of life for all people."

HALLELUJAH!!

If only certain sectors of our government would follow these guidelines instead of fighting and criticizing each other maybe some issues of social justice could become a reality in America.

Quotes for the Last Day of May

What you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
Gospel of Thomas

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle

A chief event in life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Go put your creed into your deed.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

We Remember

Stuff On My Mind

The other day I filled in for a second grade teacher. I was in the classroom for one hour and for that entire hour one little boy did nothing but tattle. It reminded me of many politicians during election time. Children are children and hopefully they will someday accept the old adage that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. I said to the little boy "Sorry, but I can't hear tattling" and I covered my ears - just as I will do every election time, because grown-ups should know better.

The longer I live the less I understand politicians. So many of them claim to be "Christians". My assumption is that it is supposed to indicate to us that they are honest and trustworthy. As far as I know Christians still believe in the Bible and particularly the teachings of Jesus.

I guess I was reminded of how scripture is so often ignored (when it is convenient) by the rapture predictions of the weekend. The guy is still scratching his head wondering how his calculations could have been wrong, even though in Matthew 24 we are told that we will not know the hour He is coming - He will come like a thief in the night. Personally, I'm OK with that.

A great deal of what passes for current Christianity consists of denouncing other people's vices and faults. - Henry H. Williams

Being a teacher I have recently been made out to be a greedy, pampered slacker taking all the state's money, by our new governor. I join with gay people in wondering what the verse in Matthew 5 and John 15 and Galatians 5 (among many others) - love one another as I have loved you means to these people. I cannot find anywhere in the scriptures where Jesus puts conditions on that statement.

The devil loves nothing better than the intolerance of reformers. James Russell Lowell

Jesus also required us to take care of the poor and needy. There are over 300 biblical references to this. Yet most of Ohio's state budget cuts will involve $1 million cuts to food banks, $12 million from children's hospitals, $427 million from nursing homes, $15.9 million from adoption for special needs children, not to mention schools and libraries.

A decent provision for the poor is the true test of civilization. Samuel Johnson 1789

Mr. Kasich, however, has achieved a precedent in taking $31,400 in airplane trips in his first 80 days and given all his staff members raises. To be fair, he's not on the "I'm a Christian" bandwagon, but he was raised a Catholic and sends his children to Christian schools.

Even if you are not a Christian you may admire the teachings of Jesus - peaceful living, loving our neighbors and tolerance for those unlike ourselves. Jesus is my example of COEXISTING.

I struggle everyday with children who are unable to coexist with their peeers. They are defensive, angry and focused only on the actions of others. They tattle and complain to the point of being unable to do their schoolwork. They have some paranoia, always believing someone is picking a fight with them. I have not found the magic to make that stop. They may have learned this attitude at home, or do not have the personal security to be able to tolerate the faults and differences of others. It makes me sad to see children so unhappy with their surroundings. With my disabled students it is often an avoidance technique, but still sad.

I wish people in public officce would be good role models. They have the opportunity to set a different tone in this culture. There is enough heartache through things we cannot control like hurricanes and floods. And if they are Christians - which is NOT a requirement of public office in America - I might add, I wish they'd at least attempt to show us what a Christian is, given their great opportunity to do so. I don't know about you but I never did hear what Sarah Palin was going to do for this country because all I heard her say were criticisms of others. Not so Christian, but hey, I'm certainly not a perfect Christian - but I also don't use it as a public platform.

I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end .. I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be inside of me. Abraham Lincoln

A Beautiful Mother's Day Gift

I had my first canary, Oliver, for 11 years and my second one, Sunny, for 8 years. Sunny died about a year ago and I have missed him ever since. I just didn't get around to fnding another canary - and apparently they are hard to find these days as well as pricy! Sunny didn't sing for his last several years, which I assumed was a result of old age. Then, a couple months before he died he sang again, but not with the gusto of earlier years. It was, of course, his "swan song."

The Friday before Mother's Day my daughter called and said she was coming over. She handed me a little cardboard box with holes in it and inside was the cutest little yellow and brown canary. I didn't know they came with colors other than yellow! I loved his markings and his personality immediately. He very comfortably hopped into the cage and almost immediately started chirping and singing - LOUDLY! He never stopped moving or singing, so by the next day I had an appropriate name for him - ROWDY!

This is not a very clear picture of ROWDY because he never stops moving! He is a joy. Somehow you cannot be blue with a canary singing it's heart out in your presense.

Thank you to my thoughtful, wonderful daughter.

Readin' and Writin'

Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, somethiing no one would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.
Christopher Morley
1890-1957

Reading is sometimes an ingenious device for avoiding thought.
Arthur Helps
writer, 1813-1875

Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you're a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act. Truth is always subversive.
Anne Lamott
from Bird by Bird

It's Finally Spring in Cleveland!!

I just read a book by Mark Winegardner called "Crooked River Burning." It's a novel set in Cleveland and mentions every single Cleveland memory I have and every Cleveland event and celebrity from my childhood. Interesting. Here's a paragraph from the book that I could really relate to:

SUMMER NIGHTS! What is there to say about summer nights in Cleveland. This: Rock it, daddy-o! In Cleveland there is no spring. In Cleveland there is winter, then a wetter, meaner sort of winter (to be a Clevelander is to have a story about a ten-inch snowfall in April that you endured with good grace, a story you tell whenever the chance arises, to horrify Sun-belt pantywaists.) Then one day winter/wet-winter ends and, bingo-bango, it's summer time. After enduring what a person made of less-stern stuff than a Clevelander would confront in five winters, ten winters, maybe even a lifetime of winters, you've by god, earned your nine and one-half paradisiacal weeks of nighttime glory. You're Goldilocks baby, and you've spent some twenty-some weeks in the too-hard bed and twenty-some weeks in the too-soft, and you hit the sheets on Baby Bear's bed and you can't believe how heavenly it feels to feel just right. Just right!

But this an't no fairy tale, jack. Get your fairy tales the pantywaist hell out of Cleveland.

For My Daughter on Her Birthday

When You Came

When you came
the leaves and lilacs came too

while we were gone in that secret place
the world went on

when you came
we were apprentices together

you brought forgiveness
and redemption for idle days

you brought love where
it had not existed before

when you came
I saw the world

as God made it
in your eyes

and I will never forget
the day you came

Postsecrets

Frank Warren, sometimes called "the most trusted stranger in America," began collecting secrets for a community project in 2004. Since then more than 400,000 anonymous postcards from around the world have found their way to Warren's mailbox. The postcards have been featured in museum exhibitions, a popular music video, the best-selling Post Secrets books and an award-winning website. Here are some I found particularly touching from the book,"Post Secret, Confessions on Life, Death and God".

Even though I feel like I'm losing my faith in Christianity, I still hate the smug attitude of most atheists, that not believing in God is something only for smart people.

Rationally I think the idea of God makes no sense, but I cannot get rid of my FAITH no matter hard I try.

When two cars meet at night on a lonely road, when they dim their headlights for each other and their paths cross for that short moment during their journeys in opposite directions, I feel like I am NOT ALONE in this world.

I look for examples everyday that prove there is more good than evil in the world. I always find them.

Just because I don't believe in religion doesn't mean that I don't believe in FAITH.

Since life is so short, I feel I need to be active all the time. I feel guilty for taking time to RELAX.

When I was a little girl, the dance teacher stopped the class, made me hold my position and told the class to list all the things I was doing wrong. Every girl had something to say. I can still hear their voices when I dance.

I'm a Christian but I'm afraid to learn too much about God because I'm afraid it won't make sense and I'll stop believing.

Dear God, will you still love me if I believe in evolution??... My boyfriend won't.

I don't care if I see God in heaven, I only care if I see you.

Falling Water

In March we had a little getaway and I got to visit something I had always wanted to see - and it did not disappoint!! "Falling Water" is a home designed by Frank Lloyd Wright and built for the Kaufman family (of Kaufman's Department Stores) in 1936 in southwestern Pennsylvania. It is built into the natural landscape over a waterfall with reinforced concrete and a cantilevered design that seems to defy gravity. In 1963 the Kaufman's only child donated it to the Western Pennsylvania Conservancy and it became a museum in 1964. Over 6 million people have since visited.

I found it to be truly beautiful and hugely inspiring. The second photo shows a living room "hatch" that could be opened to stairs that go straight down to the river and waterfall. Spectacular!

Easter

Good Friday

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him. "Aren't you the Christ? Save yourself and us!"

But the other criminal rebuked him, "Don't you fear God," he said, "since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong."

Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."

Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."

Luke 23:39-43

Hopefully - It Gets Better. . .

These comments are taken directly from a blog called "The Stranger". The facts were published by Lindsey Tainer. The commentary is by Dan Savage.

Suicide attempts by gay teens—and even straight kids—are more common in politically conservative areas where schools don't have programs supporting gay rights, a study involving nearly 32,000 high school students found. Those factors raised the odds and were a substantial influence on suicide attempts even when known risk contributors like depression and being bullied were considered, said study author Mark Hatzenbuehler, a Columbia University psychologist and researcher. His study found a higher rate of suicide attempts even among kids who weren't bullied or depressed when they lived in counties less supportive of gays and with relatively few Democrats. A high proportion of Democrats was a measure used as a proxy for a more liberal environment.
Gay and straight teenagers who live in an areas with more same-sex couples and more registered Democrats, in areas where schools are likelier to have gay-straight student alliances and anti-bullying programs, are less likely to attempt suicide. "Environments that are good for gay youth are also healthy for heterosexual youth," the study's author told the AP.

21st Century Education

The children I am teaching today have not lived in a world without the Internet. The children I am teaching today have experienced school mostly as a place to hear about tests and take tests with a paper and pencil - and yet, the way they see the rest of the world communicating and gathering information is through Skype, Facebook, iPhones, iPads, teleconferencing and the Internet.

In 1898 The Committee of 10 came together to create education standards for America. They were learned educators who decided there should be 8 core subjects, that students should be in school for 180 days a year with 6 hours of instrcution, that they should graduate with so many years of math and English etc. Sound familiar?? That was over 100 years ago and we still operate by the same standards.

Then a decade ago we threw in No Child Left Behind. The intentions sounded good, but beyond the poor funding by the government that decreed it, this law has been at the expense of preparing children for real world skills. Research shows we have turned out a decade of young people completely unprepared for 21st century employment. They all may be great at taking bubble tests, but this has not taught them critical thinking and problem solving. Tests have taken the joy out of school and removed any opportunity for teachable moments. Teachers have not had any time to delve into any non-tested subjects.

Leading curriculum expert Heidi Hayes Jacobs has researched our educational system and determined that we are preparing out students today for the world of 1991.

Along with integrating the rapidly changing use of technology, schools need to be graduating critical thinkers, collaborators, communicators. Author Daniel Pink says the future will be ruled by right-brained thinkers. He says that American will never lead in manufacturing again, Those days are over. So if America wants a successful future we will value the creators, those with imagination, the problem solvers. (Maybe MFAs will be more desirable than MBAs?)

The building where I teach is working to become an International Baccalaureate School. We will spend the next year as a candidate school and then become official. I am very new to this process, but my first impressions are positive. Sometimes It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, and I am not one to jump into every new fad - I've seen too many fail miserably.

But here is the gist: Education in our building will be student-centered, not teacher-led with teachers giving the answers and students regurgitating them out on a test. It will be research-driven, not textbook-driven. It will encourage the use of all available technology and be project-oriented. It will integrate subject matter just as it is in the real world. We're moving from passive learning to active learning. Does this sound logical to you?

The big drawback is that our students will still be taking standardized tests until our legislators come to their senses and admit that these tests have been mandated to measure teacher performance, not student learning.

How will our kids fare after spending a few years actually learning to think and solve problems? That remains to be seen,but I actually feel some inspiration at this new turn in education - something I haven't felt for a long time.

The Value of Public Workers

We all know what's been going on. I have been a teacher for over 30 years. I have valuable experience, I have a Master's Degree, I have continued my training and learning all these years - I have stuck with it. I have a retirement plan based on all those years I have worked and I think I've earned it.

But, in the mind of Ohio's new governor, it can be taken away now. Young teachers who planned on supporting a family on a teacher's salary may have to kiss that idea good-bye. I wonder, in 10 years, who is going to be teaching our children, when it becomes a low class, disrespected, low paying job. Is anyone interested in the impact on children?? Do they really expect us to believe that this will balance the budget when all public workers in Ohio amounts to 9% ??

The sad thing is that teachers (I can't speak for police and firefighters) have always been willing to compromise and negotiate for the good of their students. But do we have the chance to compromise and negotiate now? No. When you take away the right to collectively bargain you take away everything.

I think teachers would have been quite willing to rethink and negotiate new agreements on tenure, retirement contributions, maybe even benefits - but we were not given the chance. We have been disrespected and somehow been labeled the enemy.

A small example would be last year when we were asked to give up some planning time during each day and an early dismissal day meant for parent conferences during the school day so the students had more instructional time. I did not hear any complaints (although we miss our early days) what I heard was - this is good for the students. We need more time to TEACH.

Labor unions were created to keep children from working adult hours, to provide workers with clean, safe workplaces, to assure break times and fair wages. Schools that run smoothly and efficiently do so, in part, because of conditions that unions have negotiated. Class sizes are not set for the convenience of teachers, but so that students have a fair and equal opportunity for a real education.

Forty-three years ago Martin Luther King was killed. In his last public speech he said, "You are doing many things here in this struggle. You are demanding that this city will respect the dignity of labor. . . all labor has dignity.

To question the dedication of public workers, to assume that we are all out for ourselves, when, in fact, the jobs we do are jobs of service to our communities, to blame us for the unbalanced budget, to take what we have worked for, does not give us dignity.

Will we hear about the governor and the legislators taking a pay cut? How about losing their benefits, or expense accounts? (Does anyone really believe that they actually work a 40 hour work week?) Or will they vote themselves another pay raise?

Where Have All the Protest Songs Gone?

I've been thinking about this long before I read a review in yesterday's Plain Dealer about a book called "33 Revolutions." The author Dorian Lynskey wrote, " I began this book intending to write a history of a still vital form of music. I finished it wondering if I had instead compsed a eulogy."

I am word person, a lyric listener. The sole reason I love certain songs are for their meaningful lyrics. My daughter gave me satellite radio for Christmas. I figured I would hear all kinds of new music and new brilliant lyrics - but, not so much. I started wondering why twentysomething artists are not commenting on the state of our country or the world anymore. Certainly there are enough reasons to protest!

I grew up in the 60's and 70's when, yes, we had our share of bubble-gum pop, but also evocative, mind-changing lyrics that impacted who I became in some ways. We had Neil Young singing four dead in Ohio, songs like "He Ain't Heavy, He's my Brother", Dylan's "The Times They Are A-Changin'" Come senators, congressmen, please heed the call. Don't stand in the doorway, Don't block the hall. For he that gets hurt will be he who has stalled. There's a battle outside and it's ragin'. It'll soon shake your walls for the times, they are a-changin."
Other songs like "Eve of Destruction" and "For What It's Worth." I could go on and on.

Now I hear one of the recent top songs is "Just the Way You Are." Didn't Billy Joel write that a few decades ago?
When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change, 'cause you're amazing just the way you are." Brilliant, huh?

Another popular one says, "You're so delicious, you're so soft, sweet on the tip of my tongue. You taste like sunlight and strawberry bubble gum."

Even the music is boring. I call them silly little ditties. There's even one called "The Giant Turd Song" but I'll let you imagine the lyrics.

The "Just the Way You Are" rip-off is an artist named Bruno Mars. In the PD review a critic from The New Yorker named Sasha Jones said in her critique of Bruno, that most current pop stars seem oblivious to the times in which they live.

So I did a web search for more recent protest songs. Guess who was doing them in the 2000's? Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen, Patti Smith, Tom Waits... sound familiar?
I looked for some younger artists and there were a few: Pink and her "Dear Mr. President" - What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street? Who do you pray for at night before you sleep? What do you feel when you look in the mirror?

Greenday's "American Idiot" - Don't want to be an American idiot, one nation controlled by the media, information age of hysteria.

John Mayer's "Waiting for the World to Change" apparently his protest against the apathy of his contemporaries in song writing. Now if we had the power to bring neighbors home from war, they would have never missed a Christmas, no more ribbons on the door."

There were a few more - Pearl Jam, Lenny Kravitz, Eminem, Arcade Fire, but can you think of a current song that is going to stand the test of time like the ones written in the passionate time of the 60's and 70's? We are in two on-going wars, we have lived through a disastrous economy, we have poverty and hunger, celebrity worship and disease - doesn't anyone have anything to say? I am around a considerable amount of twentysomethings and I don't hear anything.

Where have all the protest songs gone?

Kyrie Eleison

In an unfathomable universe
moving in free will on the path to heaven.
The iniquity we're drawn to
fades to prisms of merciful light.
We are loved and forgiven.
Awash in complacency, mired in errors
of omission, then waking up with wings,
pure love is revealed, and
we are existing in the divine truth
that we dwell in the midst of grace.
Kyrie eleison, christe eleison

Ode to the Wondrous Pencil

I am very fond of pencils. I still think they are cool - along with the fascinating crayon (but that's another post). The following was today's offering from "The Writer's Almanac".

On this day in 1858, Hymen Lipman of Philadelphia patented the first pencil to have an attached eraser. The eraser-tipped pencil is still something of an American phenomenon; most European pencils are still eraserless. The humble pencil has a long and storied history, going back to the Roman stylus, which was sometimes made of lead, and why we still call the business end of the pencil the "lead," even though it's been made of nontoxic graphite since 1564.

Pencils were first mass-produced in Nuremberg, Germany, in 1662, and the Industrial Revolution of the 19th century really allowed the manufacture to flourish. Before he became known for Walden and "Civil Disobedience," Henry David Thoreau and his father were famous for manufacturing the hardest, blackest pencils in the United States. Edison was fond of short pencils that fit neatly into a vest pocket, readily accessible for the jotting down of ideas. John Steinbeck loved the pencil and started every day with 24 freshly sharpened ones; it's said that he went through 300 pencils in writing East of Eden (1952), and used 60 a day on The Grapes of Wrath (1939) and Cannery Row (1945).

Our common pencils are hexagonal to keep them from rolling off the table, and they're yellow because the best graphite came from China, and yellow is traditionally associated with Chinese royalty. A single pencil can draw a line 35 miles long, or write around 45,000 words. And if you make a mistake, thanks to Hymen Lipman, you've probably got an eraser handy.

Aquainted With the Night

by Robert Frost

I have been acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in the rain - and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,

But not call me back or say good-bye;
And further still an unearthly height,
A luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been acquainted with the night.

(I like this one because it's very much like something I would write, I think.)

Do You Pray? - Revisited

My last post stated that I had nothing to say - but surprise - I do! I scrolled down on my own blog and saw that I had written about prayer. Little did I know when I wrote that post that I would experience the subject in a whole new way a mere two weeks later when my life turned upside down.

My stepson unexpectedly died and everyone I ever knew sent their "love and PRAYERS" through calls, cards, emails,visits and Facebook messages. In my previous post I asked whether people were really praying or was that just a way of saying "I'm sending you good thoughts." So God answered my question in a most amazing way.

I FELT, with every cell of my body, the prayers that were being prayed for my husband and me. Can I explain what that means? Not really. No one's prayer took our pain away. No one's prayer stopped the flow of our tears. No one's prayer changed the shock and sadness. But this is what I experienced: A true sense of being lifted up, somehow held up, an undergirding of faith and hope. I cannot describe it better than that. There was hope and the promise of peace.

Going through the agony of a funeral home visitation and funeral is emotionally exhausting and confusing. In a moment your life has changed forever. But we made it. We were held up by all the beautiful things people said, by the stories of their own beliefs about heaven, by every hug and shared tear. This, to me, is the tangible expression of those prayers - and how it comforted us.

I also learned that during the weeks and months following a loss, prayers are needed as much as ever. Keep calling the grieving family, keep visiting, keep telling them beautiful things about their loved one - and especially keep praying for them.

Random Photos

I have nothing to say so here are some random photos:

Today is sunny and the snow is almost gone here in northeast Ohio, but just 9 days ago I had my fifth snow day this year! This is Stella taking it all in. Barbeque anyone?

A few weeks ago the area was suspended in crystallized beauty as the ice clung to each tiny twig. The sunlight caused a surreal beauty we'd never seen before. It lasted for two days. Click on this one to enlarge and you'll see what I mean.

This is my sweet Stella on a lazy summer afternoon. Well, everyday is lazy for spoiled dogs.

More ice beauty.

Requiem

Introit

This is just a time between losses
and now we've lost the future,
but there is rest, eternal rest ahead.
Doves are in the trees mourning,
an angel rides her winged horse
escorting us to the peace.
In the perpetual light of morning
there is no end,
no end, no end
to the shining on them, on us,
requiem aeternam, dona eis, domine

In Paradisum

Would you walk the same path again?
When the angels poured out their bowls
would you open your mouth wider?
Would you sing heavenly songs louder?
Gently lay your burdens down now,
don't wonder how it happens,
don't speak - just look up.
We have all been under the same sky,
the same loving eye, now we will be
in eternity, in paradise together.
In paradisum deductant te Angeli

Pie Jesu

Oh sweet Lord
untwist the harsh days of this world
and usher us to pure joy.
We are on our way to sleep,
wrapped in your infinite
blanket of love.
Now let the sky close
on all pain, and gift us
with our unearned requiem.
Grant us everlasting rest.
Pie Jesu Domine, dona eis requiem

My Grief Observed

I may not be able to write of anything but the grief process for awhile. I hope you don't mind and will bear with me. I hope you may be enlightened in some way. It turns out that grief is an all-consuming experience. One may return to work and smile, go to the grocery store and turn on the television again - but nothing much seems to matter. Life has been put in a stark and revealing perspective.

It has been a profound learning experience. I now know that when a friend loses a parent or sibling they are not all right just because they seem all right. After the funeral home visitation, the cards, the hugs, the funeral itself - there is a whole new life to consider. Something that may have been a singular part of you for all your life or for decades is a void now. You still need to talk, to relive the experience in order to accept it. You still need hugs.

I will now pay more attention to friends in the midst of this experience. I will not stop calling or visiting or bringing food when the funeral is over. I will continue to lift them up in sincere prayer because I have experienced the incomprehensible and indescribable sensation of being prayed for. It does not dry the tears. It does not take away the pain. But it gives an undergirding of hope and strength when you thought you were weak.

Those are my thoughts today. The only other thing on my mind seems to be all the people I would like to thank for their kindness. I will get to that soon. Otherwise, as I said, nothing else seems to matter much right now except loving my husband, who has lost more than anyone ever should.

A Grief Observed

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.

At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet, I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.
From A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

Grief

Grief is like a nightmare you can't wake up from. On Wednesday my step-son, Louie, died at the age of 27 of complications from the muscular dystrophy he struggled with all his life. Nevertheless, it was unexpected. My dear husband has been his devoted and sole caretaker all of his life. I lived with him for almost 15 years. If you ever want to donate to a cause help the Muscular Dystrophy Association help find a cure for this horrible disease. And please stop back here in a week or two when I am able to write again.

Coexist XXXI - Coexisting in Political Viewpoints

Absolute justice is achieved by the suppression of all contradiction;therefore it destroys freedom.
Albert Camus
writer, philospher, Nobel laureate
1913-1960

My previous post and all the furor that is surrounding the states that are proposing eliminating collective bargaining for public employees has made me think a lot about the divisiveness of differing viewpoints. I am disturbed that I cannot express my point of view on this or many subjects to some people because of volitile reactions. In the past I have believed I could calmly discuss anything, but on this particular issue I am unsure whether I could be reasonable and open-minded. Why? Because it effects me in multiple areas of my life and my future - or what I had planned for my future.

I found some comfort in the Camus quote. If I understand him correctly, his brief statement tells me that justice can never be achieved in everyone's eyes. Everyone has a differing life experiences and reasons for their beliefs and viewpoints based on those experiences. If one group achieves their justice, another group loses theirs.

My own convictions have slowly changed over the past 20 years, not due to someone's influence, but due to the particular circumstances I live in every day and the people I have dealt with. Technically I work in a suburban school, but it is an "inner ring" school, which means it is more urban, with a low socio-economic population. Children growing up in poverty and often neglect, but American children deserving of a good life and education nonetheless. These twenty years have opened my eyes to much more than the middle class upbringing I enjoyed.

Maybe I have not paid enough attention in the past, but it seems to me the divisiveness of our country is growing stronger - and as a result will make us weaker. Another quote:

The more we let each voice sing out with its own true tone, the richer the diversity of the chant in unison.
Angelus Silesius

How can we, as human beings, see things so differently? How can what's fair, good and right seem so wrong and injust to someone else? Why can we not accept that someone else has a different life experience and allow for that - even accept it as the other person's truth? When will we stop and LISTEN to the other side instead of using sarcasm and name-calling? We are all Americans and we have enjoyed a good life as Americans. We each have the freedom to make our lives successful or not.

On this currect issue I feel like what I worked for, what has made my life successful, what supported my children and gave me a certain amount of security will now be taken from me and those who desire to be teachers, (or other public employees) in the future. Does anyone hear that - or do you just hear the loud shouting of a political party?

A house divided against itself will fall.
Luke 11:17

Come now, let us reason together.
Isaiah 1:18

A Bad First Impression

If I was a newly elected public official I think I would try to impart a good first impression to the people who gave me the job. As you know I believe in coexisting, and when it comes to politics I am willing to give anyone a chance, regardless of the political party he or she aligns with. My idealistic hope is that our elected officials truly have the best interests of the people in mind, and are acutely aware that they work for us. Sadly, some appear to be giddy with power and control the moment they are sworn in.

John Kasich is Ohio's new governor, and it seems to me in his first two months he has managed to offend and alienate many of his constituents. His agenda appears to be one of taking away rather than helping. The first thing he did was try to ban the public and media from his inauguration. What??? The public that gave him the job in the first place? Next, he managed to appoint an all white cabinet. This is the first time in over 50 years that anyone has done that. After public outcry he managed to find one qualified African-American to appoint. Did this seem like a clueless move to you?

Now he is trying to oust a highly qualified member of the State Board of Education in favor of someone he prefers. The woman happens to be African-American. Smooth move, John.

But all of those are trivial compared to his support of Senate Bill 5 which will eliminate the rights to collective bargaining and seniority for all public union workers. This includes public school teachers, police officers, firefighters,prison guards and some nurses, among others. This would include changes to teacher contracts, benefits, bargaining timelines, layoff procedures and binding arbitration rules for police and firefighters. All issues that have been negotiated, worked for and sacrificed for over many years.

Senate Bill 5 would likely lower wages and benefits of all public employees who risk their lives for us daily. State workers' salaries schedules and step increases would be eliminated and based on merit(something no one has found an equitable way to do).

SB5 may weaken Ohio's entire middle class rather than creating the jobs we need. This legislation will hurt local communities by holding back job growth.

If this leaves you with a bad impression and you live in Ohio please contact your representatives and senators. It may be voted on as soon as next week. Personally, as a veteran teacher I have a retirement plan based on my present negotiated contract and with the belief that it will remain that way. I have worked hard for over 30 years to attain that plan. Taking away what people have worked for is not the solution to improving the lives of Ohioans - or anyone. I thought that's what our public officials are sworn to do - maybe not.

Do You Pray?

When troubled times and tragedy come everyone says they are praying for you, for your family, for relief. A recent event in our family brought about many messages of prayers being said for us. It made me think.

Are they really praying, I wondered? What are they praying for? Is a prayer to them a passing good wish or real connection with God? (One person who claims to be an atheist offered a prayer - but to whom?)

After 40+ year of sincere praying for myself and many hundreds of others, this is what I have come to understand.

I believe prayer is true communication with our Creator and it enhances our relationship with Him - helps keep us in touch, if you will. I do not, however, believe that prayer alters the laws of science, or the random nature of the world. There seems to be occasional miracles but maybe they are miracles because we want them to be.

If an abundance of prayer cured cancer, then several of my close women friends would not have died in their 40's, 50's, 60's. Prayer did not heal the cancer that the earth gave them. This is what I believe prayer DID do for them. Gave them comfort, brought a sense of peace, took away fear and brought them close to the God they were moving out of this world to be closer to.

I think prayer works internally in the human spirit. It doesn't change circumstances, but it can change people. It doesn't erase heartache, but helps us through it. It gently guides us through life if we allow it to. It heals broken hearts if not broken bodies - the laws of nature God has already put in place will do that or not.

Prayer speaks to our souls and brings peace no matter what situation the planet has randomly placed us. It doesn't control us - it frees us.

Beautiful Words

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant; and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful for these teachers.
Khalil Gibran
mystic, poet artist
1883-1931

When your words came I ate them, they were my joy and my heart's delight.
Jeremiah 15:16

What you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
Gospel of Thomas

Scars (cicatrices)

There are scars where blood once bloomed
on bodies born pure, their stories live on.

A dog engraved his teeth marks on
Laurel, a girl I knew long ago,
leaving a concave spider web
splayed on her cheek.

As a child in a hospital ward
I saw a little boy's charred skin,
his outer layer like pieces of
red crumpled paper.

Metal forceps created
a crooked mark on my husband's
sweet newborn face,
still visible decades later.

My son's six year-old leg
collided with a bicycle pedal
that left a forever grin
stamped on his shin.

Dad's leg carries
a long scar from childhood
bone infection that took
a year of his boyhood away.

There is a diagonal slash
across Helen's chest,
a betrayal of a breast
and its landmines of cancer.

My visible scars are of parts uneeded,
an ovary full of potential disease,
breast tissue that burdened my body and spirit.

Some unseen scars have
their own stories,
little demons of iniquity,
embedded with tears.

Happy Birthday

This evening, I sat by an open window
and read till the light was gone and the book
was no more than a part of the darkness.
I could easily have switched on a lamp,
but I wanted to ride this day down into night,
to sit alone and smooth the unreadable page
with the pale gray ghost of my hand.

Ted Kooser

As Heard in Church . . .

God doesn't throw us out in the trash just because we have empty nets at daybreak.
Pastor Chip Freed
January 23, 2010

Coexist Quotes

I realize patriotism is not enough, I must have no hatred or bitterness toward anyone.
Edith Cavell, nurse and humanitarian 1865-1915

What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only thing of consequence is what we do.
John Ruskin 1819-1900

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
General and 34th President 1890-1969

This is America

"This is America, where a white Catholic male Republican judge was murdered on the way to greet a Democratic Jewish woman member of Congress, who was his friend. Her life was saved initially by a 20 year-old Mexican American gay college student and eventually by a Korean American combat surgeon, all eulogized by an African American President."
Mark Shields, PBS

Martin Luther King Jr.

"Like life, racial understanding is not something we find, but something we must create."
President Barack Obama received an average of 30 death threats every day his first term in office. This was a 400% increase in the number of threats made against President George W. Bush.

"Poverty is one of the most urgent items on the agenda of modern life."39.8 million Americans were classified as poor in 2009 by the US Census Bureau.
32 million Americans were classified as poor in 1999.
49 million Americans go hungry every night according to the Food Research and Action Center - 22% are children.

"Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane.
45 million Americans lack basic health insurance.

Censoring Mark Twain

A new edition of Mark Twain's "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" is being released next month. In it, all 219 references to Jim as the N-word will be changed to "runaway slave." Political correctness is the goal, of course. I believe the underlying goal is also comfort. We are tired of being reminded of our country's failings. But we should not be tired of truth.

I understand this word is incendiary and offensive in present day, but it was written in the context of the 1840's, not the 2000's. A book is a work of art, a creation of the writer. Every artist chooses what to write, which words to use carefully, just as a painter chooses what to paint, often without regard to what others will think.

It is well known that rap singers are free to sing whatever lyrics they want in this day and age,(certainly including this word) whether offensive or vulgar to some. Comedians also.

To change the words of a classic book is to change history and change someone's quotes, and I do not believe anyone has the right to do that. You have the right not to read the book or look at the painting, or listen to the CD - but not change it.

And why is it assumed that we (or high school students assigned to read the book) are unable to place these stories and words in their historical context? That in itself should be a valuable lesson in high school classes. The Bible would be another example of many stories in the Old Testament being written in a different time of values and living.

If this is acceptable now, imagine how many things might be changed in the future. What words or phrases are we now using that someday might be offensive? Should we go back and change the lyrics of classic songs written by Oscar Hammerstein or Ira Gershwin because the term "gay" had a different connotation in the early twentieth century? How many other author's works could be changed? Where is the line in altering history and art?

Subdivision

song lyrics by Ani DiFranco

White people are so scared of black people,
they bulldoze out to the country and put up houses
on little loop-de-loop streets,
while America gets its heart cut right out of its chest,
the Berlin wall still runs down main street
separating east side from west, and nothing
is stirring, not even a mouse, in the boarded up stores
and the broken down houses, so they hang colorful banners
off all the street lamps just to prove they got manners.
No mercy, no sense and
I wonder what it will take for my city to rise.
First we admit our mistakes and then we open our eyes.
The ghosts of old buildings are haunting parking lots
in the city of good neighbors that history forgot.
I remember the first time I saw someone lying on the cold street,
I thought "I just can't walk past you, this just can't be true."
But I learned by example to just keep moving my feet.
It's amazing the things that we all learn to do.
So we're led by denial like lambs to the slaughter,
serving empires of style and carbonated sugar water
and the old farmroad's a four-lane that leads to the mall
and my dreams are all guillotines waiting to fall.
And I wonder what it will take for my country to rise.
First we admit our mistakes and then we open our eyes
'til nation's last taker succumbs to one last dumb decision
and America the beautiful is just one big subdivision.

The Un-Resolution

It's so tempting on January 1st to tell myself that THIS year I will lose those 5 (or 10) pounds - but, alas, I never do. Exercise more - um, probably not. I'm pretty content with my walking and yoga.

Over my 2 week Christmas vacation this year I realized that I had done several things I'd never done before. I was asked to help lead a worship service at my church. Compared to singing solos I figured it would be relatively easy since I have above average reading skills :) I ended up doing just about everything but the sermon and got to read my Christmas poem as well. It felt good.

I picked up a book I'd bought a couple years ago after realizing that, voracious reader that I am, I'd never read a Charles Dickens novel. I read all 550 pages of"Great Expectations." I enjoyed it once I got used to the language.

Lastly, my hubby and I went tobogganning. I'd never done that before! It was a very short experience due to the fact that it was a sunny, but cold winter day and every kid (and parent, apparently) was on vacation just like me. We waited 30 minutes to buy the tickets and another 30 minutes climbing the steep wooden steps (with hubby carrying the toboggan). We took one exciting 10 second ride down the shoot, screaming and laughing all the way. The line at the bottom was about twice as long as when we'd arrived and it was COLD!! So we decided the second ride would feel the same as the first and we left happy and cold.

I've decided that doing something you've never done before is a better, and potentially more fun "resolution" than trying and failing at the same old thing, year after year. I am still working on my list for 2011. Any ideas???

December Lament

It's the funeral march towards the end of the year,
just a number, just a month, with joy to the world

and a slithering trail of regrets gaining on me
like a holiday rattlesnake about to strike, sending poison

to the veiny, icy backs of my hands. Visions relentlessly
knock at the frosted windowpane in my mind,

not of fairies and plums, but that first wet snowflake
on the windshield, that sudden chord of a song,

a broken ornament, children who are no longer children,
what the year was not, and someone who is not here.

Silent snow falls on my winter sorrows, until I look up
from my lament and see God in your eyes.

Peace on Earth - Peace to You.

Christmas Art

Sunday I had the opportunity to go on a personal guided tour at the Cleveland Museum of Art of Nativity paintings. The tour was led by a member of my choir who is also an art docent at the museum. (I also learned from the room with the large and magnificent paintings of five of the muses is that MUSE is where the word MUSEUM comes from! Also MUSIC! Somehow that never occured to me - but I digress.)

The painting at the top is The Holy Family on the Steps by Nicholas Poussin, a French painter (1594-1665). The other one is The Holy family with Mary Magdala by El Greco (1541-1614)These, and most of religious paintings we know today were required by the Catholic church of that time.

In both paintings Mary is shown wearing red and blue. The red signifies her humanness (blood) and the blue was to show that she belonged to heaven. The light shining down and brightening the baby and Mary's images is of course heavenly.Both paintings also contain fruit which tells us that God already tried to make a perfect human in Adam and Eve but the fruit brought the downfall of humans.

Having Mary Magdala in a painting with the baby Jesus is erroneous since she would have not been around then and also would have been closer to Jesus's age. It is thought that El Greco was required to put someone's relative in the painting and they called her Mary Magdala. Mary looks innocent, young and virginal next to the woman in scarlet.

In the Poussin painting Joseph is relegated to the shadows. This was the case in many of the paintings - showing his secondary part in the story.The significance of the family blocking the steps is to show that you can only get to the beautiful blue heavens through them. Elizabeth and John (the Baptist) are sitting with them.

Anti-Gay Bullying

This article was posted today on a blog called "The Stranger" or "Slog. It was written by Dan Savage. The fact that this story is true - in America or anywhere- is almost beyond belief to me.

Anti-Gay Bullying Persists at School Where Seth Walsh was Bullied to Death - ACLU Demands.

You would think that a school district at the center of a high-profile, bullying-related LGBT suicide would do something about to stop bullying. But you would be wrong.

The American Civil Liberties union today delivered a letter to the Tehachapi Unified School District in Tehachapi California, demanding that the school take steps to combat the anti-gay bullying that cost one Tehachapi student his life and is still making life hell for other LGBT students in the district.

Seth Walsh, a student who endured years of bullying and assault in Tehachapi schools, hanged himself from a plum tree in his family's backyard on September 19. Seth's mother found him. Seth was on life support for nine days and died on September 28. Seth Walsh was thirteen years old. Wendy Walsh contacted the ACLU after her son's death because she wanted to make sure that no other LBGT students would suffer what her son suffered.

"We went down to Tehachapi and talked with Seth's family, with his friends, and with other students," said Elizabath Gill, Staff Attorney for the ACLU's LGBT and AIDS project, "and we found that even after Seth's death the school district had not taken adequate steps to address anti-gay bullying. Some anti-gay bullying posters were put out and one school administrator was scheduled to attend one anti-harassment training session."

Seth, who came out to his parents in the sixth grade, cited the verbal and physical abuse he experienced at Tehachapi schools in the suicide note he left for his family. Seth's mother reported the harassment to school administrators before her son's death - and not only didn't school officials stop the harassment, the ACLU's investigation found, teachers and administrators encouraged and participated in the harassment:

One teacher called Seth "fruity" in front of an entire class. At one point kids were calling him anti-gay names in the hallway at school. A school administrator was right there and heard it all, and turned and walked away without doing anything.

In the course of the investigation the ACLU spoke to LGBT students who are currently enrolled in Tehachapi schools and found that anti-gay bullying - even in the wake of Seth's suicide - remains a pervasive problem in Tehachapi schools.

The ACLU's letter outlines five steps - five simple steps - that the school district can take:
1. Have strong and clear anti-harassment policies and programs.
2. Take all complaints of harassment seriously and properly address them when they happen.
3. Provide ongoing training for students, teachers, school counselors and administrators.
4. Explain the harmful impact of harassment to students and staff.
5. Support Gay-Straight Alliances on campus.

The ACLU is calling on all schools to take the five steps. The ACLU is also calling for the passage of the federal Student Non-Discrimination Act (SDNA) which would add sexual orientation to existing federal laws that ban discrimination against students based on race, color, sex, religion, disability or national origin. The SDNA would also provide LGBT students and their families with legal recourse against schools that promote or tolerate harassment or discriminatory treatment.

This is me now - when will this society wake up to this discrimination? To this violation of civil rights for only one group of our society? Ask yourself - would any 13 year old CHOOSE to live this life, to be harassed, bullied, called names? Would you?

Disruption

Conceived in a scandal, born in a barn,
Jesus disrupts and disturbs fallow lives.

He offended his people by breaking their rules,
bringing not peace, but a sword

to vanquish the old ways, to unshackle the laws.
He was a dissident, an insurgent, a dent in the world.

Some who'd awaited God's final word
were disappointed, insulted, outraged.

There was no throne, just a stumbling stone,
no peace before or after that day.

Your waiting is ended this Christmas morn,
a soul choice is His unending gift.

He is here. All is changed.
Now in silence He waits for you.

What If There Was A Day

A coexist poem

What If There Was a Day

when nothing happened,
in between wars and elections,
storms, giant waves, quakes and funnel clouds?

Teams had the day off, strikes were averted,
traffic moved like a dream,
thieves and attackers took a break.

Juries were sent home and judges napped,
school children forgot to bully and fight,
theater lights darkened, celebrities tired of their capers.

Reality shows were in rerun, mortgage rates
and the stock exchange remained as the day before.
No one was born, no one died.

Newspapers had nothing to print,
talking heads stopped talking,
all media were muted and stilled.

What if the cadence and rhythms of the planet
spun in harmony and coexistence
for just one day . . .

C. S. Lewis

Yesterday was the birthday of C. S. Lewis, (1898) the Christian apologist, professor, author and theologian - best known as the author of The Chronicles of Narnia. I remember first being impacted by his book "The Screwtape Letters" as a teenager. It is a series of letters from a demon to his nephew, in which he describes living out a Christian life as a typical human being. I wanted to read all the Narnia Chronicles aloud to my kids, but I think we only made it through the first few. I am not a big fantasy fan, but I love the Christian allegory that Narnia respresents (Aslan is Jesus - in case you're unaware). The recent movies are spectacular and I'm glad they have brought Lewis's work back in the spotlight. Here are a few of my favorite C.S.Lewis quotes:

Miracles are a retelling, in small letters, of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.

Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.

What saves a man is to take a step. then another step.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.