Thursday, March 26, 2009

Buying A Pair of Jeans

It could take a whole day, maybe two -
the pulling up and pushing down of blue denim.
You know before it wraps around your thigh
whether to continue the heated upward effort.

Sometimes you miscalculate
as they smoothly rise over your hips
to discover the button will not be forced
into its matching hole from two inches away.

Boot cut, flare, straight leg, wide leg,
curvy, slim, skinny, low-waist, ultra low,
faded, dark wash, ripped, bedazzled,
stretch, regular, ankle, long, petite, short,
5-pocket, 4-pocket, button-down, zip.

Then a pair slides on without tears.
You button, you zip, you turn to view the rear.
You squat, you stand on tiptoe - and you sigh.
You pay a lot of money, bring them home

and try them on to make sure it wasn't a dream.
At long last you sit into the ease of your new jeans
and smile. You pray they won't shrink.
You hope you don't gain any more weight.

You touch the soft blue fabric and rejoice
in the comfort you so valiantly sought.
It's a victorious day - and then your husband says,
so what did you do all day?


Diane said...

great poem!

You inspire me to think: what would I write a poem about???

by the way, I LOVE the last line.

Cheryl said...

This is simply priceless!!!

maryt/theteach said...

He's darn lucky he didn't say "Your butt looks fat in those." :)

RachelW said...

Ah, and now I so love fabric with some stretch to it... I remember those deniim gut-aches. Ugh.

Julie said...

I love it! You do a wonderful job of describing the pain many of us know all too well. It's also the perfect spring poem for me, because I always gain weight in the winter.

That third stanza is excellent. I love the rhythm. This poem was a lot of fun to read, too. The husband at the end made me laugh out loud!

Daniel Bell said...

The guy version:

36-32. My size. Blue. Head to register with jeans under arm.

Of course it would be difficult for Diane to make as good a poem out of that.

I am always amazed at the quality of your poetry. You tell stories that fit on a third of a page.

Anonymous said...

blogging has been a myth buster to me!
myths shattered
1)perfect poems=perfect rhyming
2)perfect theme=perfect serious themes(lols) words=any theme to write a poem has to be serious...i dont mean that this topic isnt serious..i understand the comparisons of things with denim..i mean differnt..i know u got me..
like it doesnot have to be love,hate,rain et cetera et cetera!

good work!Kudos to you

Poetikat said...

I'm still waiting for the "without tears" part. Those low-rise, 2 inch-zipped wonders are really nuts.
You beat me to it, Diane. I was planning a "jeans" poem back in late '08. I still may, sometime.

This was fun! Good job!


Ms Hen said...

I love love love love this one.